


Parenthesis

by reylotrashpiler (Hosnianprime)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Kingsman Fusion, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Bath Sex, Bathroom Sex, F/M, Family Issues, Fluff and Smut, Kira is here, Kylo/Ben is a damsel in distress, Mild Gore, Mutual Masturbation, Mutual Pining, POV Alternating, Rey is badass, Sexual Tension, Sharing a Bed, Smut, Soft Ben Solo, Statesman spy organisation, honestly this is just a mix, obscenely sexual wood chopping, weird pet names, with canon elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2019-09-29 14:03:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 29,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17204735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hosnianprime/pseuds/reylotrashpiler
Summary: “You can go first, if you want to,” she suggested, noddig to the steaming water.Kylo looked at her in horror.“That would be so inappropriate.”Rey rolled her eyes.“Do you really think you could beat me, the British, at this game of politeness?”Kylo’s lip twitched at the corner, his eyes lighting up with amusement.“Kira,” he rumbled. Even speaking just her pseudonym made her shiver.He noticed.“You’re clearly freezing. Let me thank you for taking care of my arm this way. Please.”Oh, how could he be so gentle? So soft?“Okay,” she agreed before she could have noticed.Kylo smiled in satisfaction, and she cursed inwardly at losing at her own game before it even began.“Have a good time then, Kira,” he bid her goodbye and closed the door behind himself.Rey kept staring at it, like it would provide any answers as to  how this man had just managed to crawl under her line of defense so self-evidently.---------------Two secret agents, one cabin, one bed - and lot of sexual tension.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [No_one_at_the_beach](https://archiveofourown.org/users/No_one_at_the_beach/gifts).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> parenthesis
> 
> noun plural -ses (-ˌsiːz)
> 
>  
> 
> **an intervening occurrence; interlude; interval**

**December 20 (day 1)**

**_Ben_ **

He was zipping on the snow on the speeder as they chased him through the mountains.

The world was a white blur around him. The grey skies, foretelling a storm, merged with the peaks into a single, neverending fog. A lonely tree or two was the only break his poor, tired vision could find as a point of orientation, their elegant trunks popping out as black silhouettes against the snowy world of white visible in the scarce twilight. Despite his special light-filtering goggles, his eyes were spinning. The icy wind which managed to creep in at his neckline if the current found the right angle was annoyingly unpleasant.

He could have blended into the snowy landscape with his clothes which were able to adapt their color to their surroundings like a chameleon, would it not have been for the black snowmobile he was clutching onto, glancing behind himself periodically to assess the distance from his chasers.

Three more speeders whined as they strained to get close enough to take a shot at him, and Ben took a sharp left turn around a huge rock, the bullets hitting the stone just a hairbreadth away from his back. 

_Damn._

Ahead, a patch of pinewood forest emerged on the slopes. Without hesitation, he punched the gas as much as he dared. He always had been extremely talented in slaloming and he needed to get something between himself and those bullets that now started raining down on him.

For good measure, he pulled out his own weapon, shooting behind his back without really aiming.

He gritted his teeth in frustration.

This wasn’t like him at all.

Rarely did he fuck up a mission this much. Never, in fact.

His headset had been destroyed by a particularly vicious right hook about an hour earlier and now he was out here in some forsaken country’s permanent fucking winter, with a bare ass and without the agency’s help.

Placing his weight to the right side of the speeder, he yanked it around the pine trees, then back to the left, ducking under a low hanging branch. The engine of the vehicle growled under the extortion he put onto it, the handles getting heavy in his hand.

Through his helmet, he sucked in rapid breaths of the icy air, painful for more than one reason.

Did he mention that his ribs hurt like hell? Another unwelcome reminder of the tussle he’d been involved in a short while ago.

He cursed again, whipping out a piece of tech which looked like a lighter but turned into a laser chainsaw, and cut down a tree. He watched it catch one of his enemies under its trunk as it fell.

_Finally getting back on track! Come on, boy!_

In his field of vision, he saw another speeder sliding in the snow parallel to him, the shooter behind its driver lifting his gun to aim at him.

 

_Fuck._

 

Pushing a button in his gloves, he activated a force field, absorbing the bullet and the round that followed. The next moment, he turned again, whipping out his gun and shooting the sniper on the back. Somehow, the sudden loss of weight threw the driver off-balance and the snowbike crashed against an old tree trunk lying across the forest’s floor.

“Hah!” Ben gloated loudly into his helmet.

Victory cursed through his veins, and for a second, he relaxed on top of the rapidly gliding snowmobile.

The next second, that moment of peace was avenged with viciously.

“Oh, fuck,” Ben muttered as his bike hurled him over the edge of the cliff, right into the nothingness.

________________________________

**_Rey_ **

She stopped for a minute to admire the wide expanse of white, virgin snow, the mountains lazily stretching for miles beneath her feet. Her face was completely covered by a mask and, of course, the ski goggles which simultaneously fed her all the necessary information about elevation, temperature, humidity, GPS coordinates, and - evidently - the right direction to her target.

The backpack slung over shoulders, containing a heavy load of explosives, was a pleasant weight. The bag also came equipped with a parachute, and a bulletproof layer.. Her body was protected by a bulletproof west under her ski overall.

The mission target, a secluded research facility drilled deep into the belly of the rocky mountains where a dangerous biochemical weapon was currently being developed lay just over four kilometres away.

In the right corner of her goggles, an alert popped up.

_Danger, impeding snowstorm. Estimated time until arrival: 2 hours._

 

Rey acknowledged the information with little more than a huff.

In two hours, she’d be long gone.

With that, she swung from the top of the mountain, letting gravity slide her through the snow in elegant curves.

Sometimes, she outright loved her job, she thought merrily while carving her way down the mountain, punctuating each turn playfully with her poles.

_______________________________________

**_Ben_ **

When he first opened his eyes, all he saw was a dull greyness.

_So, I finally died._

 

The stinging pain shooting through his right arm indicated otherwise.

Groaning, he tried to lift himself, becoming conscious of his aching body, the freezing cold clawing into his bones, and what appeared to be a broken right arm.

When, exactly, did he become such a loser?

How could he, the poster child of the organisation, fuck up a mission like this? There was no way the agency could find him in this godforsaken country.

Wearily, he looked around the landscape, hopping to his feet, testing their abilities. Okay, standing was good. He brushed off the snow, and looked for his snowmobile.

A heap of junk.

He was lucky it hadn't exploded in his unconscious face. If that was considered luck, he suspected the whole agency was going to laugh their asses off that the great-grandchild of Anakin Skywalker, who single-handedly…

Eh, never mind.

Glancing around, he assessed that he must have free-fallen at least a good 20 meters before landing on the soft snow.

“Lucky me, I guess,” he grumbled. Groaning in exasperation, he rubbed his left hand over his face, slapping himself on the cheek a bit to bring back his focus. Looking around, he noted the darkening clouds above his head. The snowstorm was coming and, out here in the open, he would soon be nothing but a popsicle.

_At least, I wouldn’t have to face the agency then…_

“Get your shit together, Solo,” he murmured. Walking over to the heap of metal that had been his snowmobile, he once again withdrew his laser-chainsaw from his pocket and begun to cut off the skis from the bottom of the vehicle.

“I hate my work,” he grumbled, while he started to fabricate himself some makeshift ski equipment.

_____________________________________

**_Rey_ **

The descent had been quite pleasant. Rey had always loved freeriding, even if was a bit risky due to avalanche danger. But ever since she’d been trained by the agency, Rey didn’t fear many things. She was fully aware that she didn’t have much of anything to lose.

She, just like a lot of them, had been an orphan, recruited right out of a savage street fight in one of the more run-down districts of London. She had been sixteen then; having grown up in an orphanage, she already had become an expert in car theft and smaller shoplifting, quickly making a beeline to time in prison.

But that was all in the past now, and Rey didn’t really have time to dwell on things which weren’t immediately connected to the task at hand.

She carefully stepped on the heel cups of her bindings to release her feet from the skis, lying down on her stomach and with an adjustment, zooming in with her goggles to assess the situation. From the outside, the superficial observer would have missed the security system protecting the research facility of Richmond Valentine.

Not Rey, though. She easily spotted several ground-to-air missile defense systems, automated weapons, laser cannons and also a dozen very well hidden soldiers scanning the environment.

She licked her lips subtly under her mask.

This would be such a perfectly delicious encounter.

 _Attention: impeding snowstorm in less than an hour,_ the alert flashed across her goggles’ screen.

_Crap._

Apparently the clouds decided to move faster than expected.

Never mind; she would have to cut this party short, then.

“I’m going in now,” she muttered into the receiver, knowing that her partner, Finn, was listening on the other end.

“Copy that, Scavenger. Good hunt.”

“Going on mute,” she said, informing Finn that she wouldn’t be able to speak anymore.

Then, standing up, she verified that all her guns were loaded and stocked where they should be, quickly touching them all around her body before clicking her boots into the ski binders again.

“Santa Claus is coming to town, Valentine,” she muttered sarcastically before launching herself off the hill in full-on combat mode.

She moved too fast, remaining undetectable for the heavy weaponry. Her clothes, which reflected her surroundings while simultaneously cloaking her body heat, made it near impossible for the soldiers to detect her on time.

At least not before she fastened explosives, one after the other, on the air defence system.

She only had to take out one guard prematurely, her muffler softening the sound of the shot to a mere whisper.

Then, retreating to a safe distance, she flicked the switch.

“Boom,” she whispered in awe as the fireworks began.

________________________________________

**_Ben_ **

The makeshift skies functioned beautifully. Ben might have almost enjoyed the descent with these yeti-sized skies would it not have been for his aching right, which made balancing all the more difficult. He had his bones broken several times already in missions, and even in his childhood, he had not been a stranger to hospitals. The thorough psychological analysis the agency had subjected him to claimed he’d been motivated by a deep need to get his parents’ attention with his mischief.

But Ben couldn’t care less about things from his past when the first snowflakes started drifting from the sky. His briefing contained a clear warning that snowstorms in this country shouldn’t be trifled with and a mild panic set over him.

Injured, without proper equipment and starting to run low on ammo, he wouldn’t last too long in these elements.

_Fuck the fuck._

He could risk sending up a drone to inspect his vicinity, but that could also give away that he was alive. On the other hand… he had already retreated a great deal from his last known location, and with all his immediate pursuers dead, this was his best chance.

So Ben did what he could, reaching into his backpack and getting out a small drone, the video feed transferring to his goggles. He flew around the area as swiftly as the propellers managed, looking for something, anything that could provide shelter for him.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” he muttered, zooming in. Apparently, he was a lucky son of a ~~bitch~~ senator today.

There, barely more than a thirty-minute hike from where he stood, was an abandoned cabin.

Quickly recalling the drone, he started moving into the direction of the hut just as the snowflakes started falling in thick curtains.

Maybe, he would live another day.

______________________

**_Rey_ **

The explosion shook the surrounding mountains, reverberating between their rigid lines endlessly, a low murmur spreading like a flood.

She used the distraction to slip to the door, taking out about five soldiers in the way without a hurry. With calculated movements, she glued the codebreaker on the first door, while cutting off one of the dead guy’s hands, knowing there would be a biometric identification on the inside.

Long past flinching about something like this, Rey calmly waited for the codebreaker to finish its job, her back turned to the impenetrable door and occasionally shooting down the men who tried to fire at her. A series of beeps indicated that it was done and the door slid open. Rey, along with the bloody hand, stepped inside and punched the emergency button on the inside which made it impossible to opened from inside. She would take the back door.

Pressing the hand to the identificator, the belly of the research facility opened up for her ---

\--- it was completely empty.

Her eyes went wide in panic.

Valentine must have moved the facility… which meant…

“Santa knows that you’ve been naughty, Kira,” Valentine’s signature voice echoed all around her and the second door slammed shut.

 _It’s a trap,_ the cold realisation settled in her.

“Thank you for volunteering for this Valentine Corporation project, Miss Smith. Your name will forever be forgotten,” he said seriously, then laughed cruelly at his own joke while a yellow fog started to filter into the room.

Rey grit her teeth. This was the chemical weapon Valentine was testing. Inhaled, it would kill her within minutes.

But Rey didn’t learn the art of survival at the agency. Rey had been born with the ability to cut herself out of any situation imprinted into her DNA.

She came prepared.

Activating the gas mask function of her ski mask and sliding out a small oxygen tank, she began to run towards the back door.

She still had some tricks (or explosives) up her sleeve.

____________________________________________

**_Ben_ **

The hut was not handed to him on a silver platter, he came to learn quickly. He’d had to climb a wall with only one hand while the temperature dropped to a level his damaged thermo-wear wasn’t able to compensate for, and the blizzard started to rage in earnest.

But when he finally made it to the top and staggered in the knee-deep snow to the cabin, he knew that today, despite everything, was truly his lucky day.

Holding his gun in his left hand (his primary shooting hand being injured), he carefully approached the ramshackle wooden structure, lest there could be anyone inside despite the appearance that it had been abandoned for decades.

Carefully opening one of the doors, he peeked inside, staying on alert, while rounding corners and covering his ground inch by inch.

There was a small entry hall, a badly equipped kitchen, a bathroom with a wooden tub (what the hell?) and one bedroom with one double bed. Everything was covered by a thick layer of dust and, in places where the house had more holes in its exterior, covered by frost.

When he was sure that he had inspected every inch of the place and still found no living thing, not even animals, he clicked back the hammer and put away his gun, exhaling a breath he didn’t realise he had been holding. Depending on how long this storm was going to last, he was safe, at least for now. Glancing out from one of the dirty windows, he saw that the weather briefing had been accurate; it was a frosty hell outside.

Good. The falling snow would cover all his tracks.

Maybe he carried blind luck in his genes, just like his father had.

___________________________

**_Rey_ **

The plan worked, and she quite literally burst out of the research facility, coughing angrily to expel any trace of the lethal gas from her airways, filling her lungs with clean, crispy air.

Behind her, the mountain groaned as part of the maze of underground hallways collapsed beneath the surface, and Rey started to run as fast as she could in the snowstorm that caught up with her while she had been otherwise occupied down there.

The visibility was reduced to almost zero, and strong winds strained against her body.

“Finn?” she tried her comm, white noise coming back as response. “Finn!” she yelled, panic creeping up in her throat. If her comm was impeded by the storm… she could be out here for weeks, as Hoth was famous for its long and merciless blizzards.

“Finn!” she yelled again, not caring who could overhear her. The men were dead, the facility was blocked, and even if it hadn’t been, there was a fatal gas inside. She had nowhere to go.

Quickly loading the map of the whole area onto her goggles, she started scanning for any possible shelters.

“Thank the Lord!” she whispered when she spotted a rickety hut an hour from her current position.

She set the navigation and got moving.

It was her only chance, anyway.

_____________________________________________________

 

**_Ben_ **

Sitting down for a few minutes seemed like a splendid idea. Ben carefully let himself slide against a wall and to the ground. He knew he needed to shed his wet clothes and find any source of warmth there could be found in this derelict hut, he needed to scan the cabinets for any food left behind, because even without his very smart devices, now rendered completely useless in Hoth’s famous icy storms, he suspected this blizzard wasn’t about to pass anytime too soon.

His eyes slid closed without him noticing it at all, the exhaustion finally catching up with him. Drifting in and out of dozing, jolting whenever his head tried to lull over his shoulder, Ben sat there for a while, his senses mellowing under the safety of the snowstorm.

A loud crack made him jump, his right hand flying to his holster on instinct. He winced at the pain, remembering that his right arm was broken and pulled out the gun with his left. Okay. Good. Years and years of rigorous training enabled him to shoot any target, even half asleep.

He could hear footsteps -- careful and light -- and to his surprise, doing the same check-up he was trained to do.

_A female assassin?_

At least he would get his hands on a woman before his death, he thought sarcastically, recalling the merrier times when his job involved saving abducted princesses who showed their gratitude in ways that made him feel like a man all over.

That had been a few years ago.

Now he was lucky to get a chaste Tinder date crammed into his schedule of flying in and out of terrorist zones.

Meanwhile, he pushed himself up, mindful not to let out so much as a peep, and turned around the corner, catching a glimpse of the intruder’s white clothes. This only reinforced his suspicion that the other person in the house was a professional.

Gingerly, he stepped around the corner, following behind the figure, putting his feet cautiously on the wooden floor lest it cracked. It wasn’t an easy feat given his massive body.

It wasn’t ideal to hide a 6’3” height.

Just when the person disappeared into the bathroom, the floor beneath him finally gave in with a loud crack. He leapt forward, knowing that the intruder would turn and shoot him if given the chance, closing his hand around a slender body covered by a lot of fluffy layers.

It was indeed a woman. She viciously fought back, slamming her elbow into his ribs, and slamming his hand against the door frame, disarming him. At the same time, he also wrenched her gun out of her hands, even if his right hand burned from the pain. He cried out from the effort.

Their movements were mirrored and soon both held the other in a choke-grip, lying on the ground. Her strong legs wrapped around his neck to snap it.

“Let go, woman,” he choked out.

“You wish,” she snarled, her thick English accent apparent.

“Who are you?” he growled as the sturdy little thing managed to tighten her squeeze on him.

“It’s not a date, fucker,” she hissed when he applied just a little more pressure on her. He certainly had the upper hand here in terms of weight, but his injured right arm made him significantly weaker.

“Let go,” he snarled, the blood pressing his eyes.

“You first,” she retorted, although Ben made her situation wasn’t much better than his.

“On three,” he suggested, and to his greatest astonishment, the girl actually started counting.

“One.”

“Two,” he chimed in.

“Three,” they said in unison and both let go of the other, rolling to get a gun.

This time, the girl was quicker, pointing the weapon at him. He sat down onto his heels silently in front of her, without moving. The girl was breathtaking, even in her bulky ski overalls, transforming every living soul who donned them into a Michelin-Man figure.

She had the fiercest hazel-green eyes, a beautiful, clear-cut nose and thin lips.

His final judgment. And he, indeed, _could_ put his hand on a woman again before his luck, finally, ran out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The veil of their identities are finally revealed, as well as their bodies...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More of the cabin romance, where Kira and Kylo start to get to know each other.

 

 

**December 21 (day 1)**

**_Rey_ **

“You’re not begging?” she asked in astonishment, eyeing the man kneeling in front of her.

She should have shot him, but something was telling her to find out more before delivering her judgement.

Maybe his chocolate-brown eyes staring up at her from beneath dark brows, or that glorious hair which she’d thoroughly mussed, or maybe his pouty lips, which, from this position, were practically begging her to sit over them… Or maybe it was his massive shoulders and arms… His right arm was clearly broken, she realised, by the way he held it.

The professional part of her brain was screaming at her that his techniques had been too similar to hers. Was he a fellow agent?

“Why should I?” he answered, almost bored.

“Isn’t it a habit?” she retorted, curiously eyeing his indifference towards his possible death. Or could he read her so well? Did he already know she wasn’t going to kill him yet?

Silence. He didn’t even shrug. Trained, then.

“You’re an agent, aren’t you?” she asked, letting up her position a little.

“Yes,” he supplied. “I’m selling whisky.”

His deadpan delivery and the actual, fucking joke of their situation hit Rey too hard. What were the chances  of almost killing an agent from your sister-organisation out here on Hoth? As low as the temperature on this godforsaken planet.

She barked out a laugh, deep from her lungs, and, securing the gun, let it down.

“What?” he asked, confused.

“Statesman?” she sought to confirm, still pointing the gun at him but with less intent.

He nodded carefully.

She licked her lips nervously. _Just one last check._

“Tell me the code.”

“Manners maketh man,” he answered in a beautiful timbre voice she pitifully had to ignore.

Exhaling, she passed the gun into her left hand, then extended her right  to him with a bright smile.

“Kira Smith, Kingsman.”

The man, still on his knees (she could get used to this), considered her for a moment, before closing his huge left paw around her digitss to shake her hand awkwardly.

“Kylo Ren, Statesman.”

__________________________________

 

**_Ben_ **

****

The girl - Kira - chortled.

“Americans,” she huffed. “Could not have picked a more pretentious pseudonym than Ren, right?”

Then she stuck the gun into her belt and crossed her arms in front of herself casually, opening her leg to the side. Ben noted the change in her body language, how she shifted out of combat mode into harmless chatting.

“Better than ‘Smith’. Someone might think you take your inspiration from B- rated movies,” he quipped.

She scrunched up her nose at the reference to the film Mr. and Mrs. Smith. _Strangely adorable,_   flashed through his mind

“It allows you to blend in, you know. Ren makes you stick out like a sore thumb,” she lectured him in a tone that indicated the end of this topic. Ben obeyed her dynamic again, filing away more and more details about her while they eyed each other.

Her quick thawing was flattering, though Ben himself didn’t trust this one bit.

“Your arm is hurt,” Kira remarked with a flick of her chin in the general direction of his right arm.

He winced at the reminder.

“I think it might be broken,” he admitted absentmindedly, while trying to drink in every detail of this spitfire woman in front of him. She was young, much younger than him, brimming with an energy he never had possessed.

“Haven’t they taught you in that pretentious academy of yours how to make a splint?” she tested with a quirk in her eyebrow, but there was no real bite in it.

“You interrupted me before I could do anything," he complained.

“Aww, let me make it up to you,” Rey said in an overdone sweetness, turning on her heels to scavenge for suitable means. “You may rise, by the way,” she casually threw the comment over her shoulder with a light wink.

Ben sputtered at the implication.

“Excuse me?!” he squeaked and leapt to his feat.

He was by no means t  this girl’s submissive.

She giggled in response like a fucking Christmas bell.

Apparently, she enjoyed the hell out of getting a rise out of him.

Heavens, this storm promised to be long.

________________

**_Rey_ **

Rey quickly came to the conclusion that this Kylo guy was a hot mess. How else could she summarise his apparent indifference regarding his life, or the fact that he had his arm broken out here on Hoth?

Rounding the rooms of the small cabin, she tried to find something to fix his arm with. She decided that the loose board lying around on the floor (with some sign on it) would be perfect.

“Do you have something I can cut with?” she inquired, walking back to where she left him.

Kylo, cradling his right arm with his left, now that he didn’t have to pretend, nodded. Then, wincing, he let go of his injured hand and fished out a lighter.

“It’s a laser chainsaw,” he supplied.

She couldn’t help but grimace and mutter something about the attention-seeking Americans. Nevertheless, she carefully adjusted the strength of the device and cut two neat pieces out of the wood. A satisfied smile crept on her lips.

“Go find a table,” she told him, while she went to look for binders. Going into the bedroom, where upon her initial inspection of the place she’d seen  old sheets she could rip, Rey noticed that there was only one bed.

She pursed her lips. It had to be her luck to be stuck in a cabin with a male version of a damsel in distress and only one bed, which in no way would be able to fit them both in any position which didn’t involve....

 _Hold your horses, Rey!,_ she chastised herself. The guy certainly had appeal, but that wasn’t reason enough to jump his bones. Even if they were mercifully off the grid for now, secret agents were just as much gossips as any other community.

Going to the kitchen, she found him sitting on the chair, his right arm resting on the table as he wearily regarded her.

“You know, it’s kind of appealing to have a nurse all to myself,” he quipped.

Stepping to him with the tools, she looked him square in the eye for a second.

“Is that what your fantasies are, big guy?” she crooned. Her voice might have been soft but her hands… oh her hands carried wrath for this sexist remark.

Kylo hissed when she roughly arranged his arm to her liking, pulling her goggles from her neck and putting them back on, activating the X-ray function. His radius was fractured somewhere in the middle, but nothing too major.

“You only have a minor radial fracture,” she informed him, fastening the wood with pieces of the torn sheet with a force that made him whimper. “Should be good to fly in a few weeks, little dove.”

Kylo rolled his eyes at the pet name and pouted instead of insulting the girl who’d just help patch him up..

“Do you want sweets for being a good boy?” she asked him, giggling. 

“Cut the shit, Kira,” he shook her off, leaning back in his chair, visibly relaxing as the pain subsided. His left hand snuck into his jacket.

___________________________

**_Ben_ **

Kira tensed. Her hand twitched at her side, making a motion towards her hip.

So, she still was armed then.

He closed his hand around the flask tucked into his inner pocket and pulled it out, holding it up for her examination.

“Just a little whisky, sweetheart,” he said in an even voice, meant to reassure her. He really didn’t want to be shot over a bottle of whisky, no matter how excellent it was. With his nimble fingers, he screwed off the cap and took a swing, revelling in the burn in his throat, humming in delight.

Kira didn’t move.

“You want some?” he asked her.

She reached for the bottle with a stern expression.

“I’m not your sweetheart.”

She took a healthy gulp herself, shuddering at the strength of the liquid, her face scrunching up again slightly. Apparently, this was a thing of hers and, shockingly, he’d already come to like it.

“Thank you,” Ben hummed gently after a beat, taking back the metal bottle from Rey as she handed it over. She nodded. “For my arm, I mean,” he clarified.

“Oh that! Don’t even mention it,” the girl shrugged, trying to hide her shy smile by letting her gaze wander over to the kitchen, inspecting the equipment.

The snowstorm raged on outside, sometimes rattling the roof.

“I hope this shack won’t be blown away by the wind like in the fairytales,” she grimly remarked.

Ben huffed. “Me too.”

He took another sip. “So, what brings you here?”

“If I told you, I’d have to kill you,” Kira replied seriously, but with a warm smile nonetheless. That was all she could give him and it wasn’t even an exaggeration.

“Right,” Ben nodded, remembering himself, the tip of his ears turning slightly pinker in his embarrassment. They were secret agents after all. How silly was he, thinking he could small-talk himself out of this situation?

After a long beat spent listening to the sounds the wooden structure made under the weight of the wind, Ben stared at the table with eyes that didn’t see. Finally, Kira stirred.

“Do you think we could make some fire or at somehow make som warmth in here? I’m good in my overalls, but I see that yours are damaged and I would also prefer to lose these layers. This storm might go on for days.”

Ben considered for a moment, chewing on his lips.

“I think… maybe we could. But let’s just lay low for a day or two, shall we? I’m still afraid my pursuers might catch my trail.”

“Alright,” Kira nodded, understanding that he couldn’t provide much more explanation either. “Then, if that’s the case, I’m gonna draw a nice, hot bath,” she cheerfully announced.

“How on earth...?” Ben asked skeptically.

Kira unwound something from her hair, her chestnut waves falling gently around her finely cut jaw. Ben, for a second, forgot to pay attention to her words in his surprise. She looked angelic.

Kira fumbled around with some metallic parts, until she was positively beaming.

“Is that… an immersion heater?” Ben guessed.

“Obviously. How else would I drink my 5 o’clock tea?” Kira grinned.

A laughter bubbled out of him -- long and lighthearted. “You and your weird traditions,” he shook his head.

“Be grateful, Ren. At least now you can have a hot bath. I’m gonna collect some snow,” she announced, standing.

“Let me help,” he volunteered, also rising.

“Absolutely not. Your hand is damaged.”

“I have another one/” He stated the obvious, but still held it up and gave a little Queen’s wave with it for good measure.

Kira rolled her eyes.“Fine.”

_________________________________________

**_Rey_ **

Working together --- Kylo limping and struggling with one hand, and her bearing the weight of the heavy bucket -- they filled the barrel-like tub to the brim with snow. By the end, both of them were freezing, having run in and out of the snowstorm repeatedly.

Rey wasted no time getting the immersion heater to work and soon the snow melted to water, then to a steaming bath.

If Kylo was dumbstruck, he didn’t show it. But she could see how much he craved to immerse himself into the soothing water. Even if they couldn’t discuss their missions themselves  in detail, she could see from the bruises forming on his complexion here and there that this one hadn’t gone to plan. In fact, it appeared to have blown up into his face. Literally.

She couldn’t help but feel a pang of pity for the man. Even without knowing him, he seemed like a nice guy. A bit clumsy, perhaps, but kind.

“You can go first, if you want to,” she suggested.

Kylo looked at her in horror.

“That would be so inappropriate.”

Rey rolled her eyes.

“Do you really think you could beat me, the English, at this game of politeness?”

Kylo’s lip twitched at the corner, his eyes lighting up with amusement. Had his  lips been so full and plump all this time?

“Kira,” he said,  the timbre of his voice brimming like the good fire she now craved. Even speaking just her pseudonym, she shivered.

He noticed.

“You’re clearly freezing. Let me thank you for taking care of my arm this way. Please.”

Oh, how could he be so gentle? So soft?

“Okay,” she agreed before she could have noticed.

Kylo smiled in satisfaction, and she cursed inwardly at losing at her own game before it even began.

“Have a good time then, Kira,” he bid her goodbye and closed the door behind himself.

Rey kept staring at it, like it would provide any answers as to  how this man had just managed to crawl under her line of defense so self-evidently.

__________________

 

**_Ben_ **

****

He would _not_ think of what was hiding underneath those thick winter layers, bared to the coldness of the room. How the goosebumps would form on her toned legs, her round ass, her firm, flat stomach...how her nipples must be hardening at the drop in temperature...

There he went again, failing spectacularly at not thinking about it.

Keen on distracting himself, he inspected the house now more in detail, scavenging for food in the cabinets. He wasn’t disappointed: a few cans of lentils, soup, and spam were lying around, he metal eaten by patches of rust, and the expiry date long gone. He grimaced, contemplating whether he was desperate enough to risk  food poisoning. Instead of coming to a decision, he piled the cans neatly on the kitchen table and went to the bedroom.

There it was. The bed he was so looking forward to sleeping in a few hours ago.

A single bed.

Who even installed one single bed? Who had been living here? Some solitary hermit guy?

Annoying.

Then, he scanned all the wardrobes for any blankets he could find, placing them on the bed. They would divide them when Kira was done bathing.

Which would be  soon, as he nowheard her steps, somehow, even more energetic than before.

“That bath really worked wonders; remind me to send a fruit basket to our tech guy,” she announced, beaming as she stepped into the room.

He lifted his gaze to look at her. Gone was the Michelin-Man outer layer, revealing a perfectly cut, light brown windowpane suit jacket, paired with a white button-down, tight black leggings, and a riding boot.

There was so much power rolling off this slender, perfectly composed woman, he felt overwhelmed.

Ben was sure his mouth went slack.

“What? You forgot we own a tailor shop?” Kira asked.

“I…” he swallowed. “Apparently.”

She eyed him from where she stood for a second.

“Don’t you want to hop into the bath before it turns cold?”

Ben knew he needed a break from her ASAP. Was this the effect of the huge fall? Did his brain turn to mush completely? Surely he must have gotten a concussion, falling 20 meters, right?

He nodded, and Rey stepped aside to let him pass.

She smelled of fresh soap and cherry blossom.

Who was this girl? How could she always be so composed,riding atop of the waves?

But more importantly, when did _he_ become such a loser, trying in vain to get a grip on his life?

He closed the bathroom door on himself, using the immersion heater to reheat the water until he shed his…

Fuck. His arm was bound to his--

A loud knocking. “Kylo? Are you decent? I remembered…”

He tore open the door.

“... the bandage…” she finished surprised.

“Come in,” he said.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Discussing sleeping arrangement on the single bed and some personal issues, Kira and Kylo settle for their first night in the cabin on Hoth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gentle warning: Rey had eaten things in her life that are not a common part of Western-European diet. :D

**_Rey_ **

****

The room was by now pleasantly warm, she noted, as the door clicked closed behind her.

Wasting no time, Kylo obediently extended his arm to her to take off the splint, so he could get out of his weather-worn clothes.

It was only now she noticed their height difference, him being a good head taller than her. Something stirred inside of her -- a mixture of pride over havingbested him earlier when they wrestled, but also another, foreign feeling, one of being delicate compared to him.

She made quick work of the splint.

They both started speaking at once.

“Would you…”

“Could you please…”

She stared at him with wide eyes, then smiled.

“Of course.”

A visible relief flooded him.

She helped him take off his jacket, hearing him hiss when he had to move his injured arm. Then his shirt.

Rey was far beyond being affected by nakedness. After all, men and women all trained together in the agency. Even in her childhood, there was no use in being shy about one’s body; when she and Finn were children and finally got themselves access to a bedthey wasted no time curling up in it together.

But now that Kylo towered above her, half naked and with his six-pack clearly visible, Rey’s eyes remained glued to his abs.

Sure, she had seen the other agents’ bodies. But this man… he held a special allure to her. He was… _massive._ Her cheeks went rosy without her permission.

“I… It’s getting too warm here for me, I’m gonna…”

And she was out the door the next second.

______________________________________

**_Ben_ **

****

Dr. Ben Solo, MD, PhD, was sure the girl had shown signs of being _flustered_ by his body. After years of experience as a brain surgeon, he was fully qualified to diagnose himself with a concussion, apparently causing him to hallucinate. There was no way that what he thought he saw with his own two eyes was true. Kira wouldn’t be impressed by a good physique alone.

He wrestled the remainder of his clothes off with one arm, then stepped into the tub, suppressing a yelp. The water was indeed warm enough to scorch his frozen limbs. But he powered through it and soon was enveloped in the glorious warmth to his neck, leaving his right, swollen arm hanging out of the tub. Looking around, he discovered a piece of soap, no doubt leftover from Kira’s turn in the tub.

There was something strangely intimate about smelling like her, he thought. Like they could be lovers, and he could have forgotten his own shower gel and had to use hers at her place…

He sighed.

This woman was out of his league.

Letting himself soak in the much-needed warmth, he let himself relax for the first time. Even if someone would be able to trace him to this very cabin, there was a snow leopard outside guarding him, who would kill the attackers  before he could finish towelling himself off.

Closing his eyes, he smiled.

Princesses sure knew a thing or two, but none of them had ever possessed the raw strength and intelligence this girl had. He wondered how she got recruited to Kingsman and what unfortunate background her life had handed her before becoming a secret agent. Even without knowing a lot about her, he was grateful that she could have the confidence and power this life gave her. A power no one would be able to take away from her.

Washing off his body, he winced as he brushed over his ribs. Luckily, he knew they were not fractured the  big, dark bruise formed nevertheless. In the mirror, he could see that his face was also purpling with them.

“Way to impress a girl,” he sighed sarcastically.

_____________________________

**_Rey_ **

“What’s wrong with you, Rey?” she whispered to herself, while her mind stubbornly kept recalling that man’s body and all the rumors about guys with big hands.

The cans Kylo had laid on the table looked more like a Valentine-style biochemical weapon than actual food. Despite her suspicion, she opened one with her Swiss army knife.

The lentils smelled okay-- and a quick, careful lick confirmed that they also tasted alright -- so she figured she should heat them up somehow. Kylo was clear about not causing a visible sign of their stay here, thus she gathered one of the metal buckets and piled wood in it. After carrying it to the bedroom, she lit the fire.

Why waste the warmth? Even if they would end up smelling lentils. 

Pulling the grid from the stove, she set the can on top of the fire, stirring it with a spoon occasionally. 

“Kira?” she heard him call her tentatively.

The domesticity of it was painfully squeezing her heart. She wanted to tell him _Rey, please, call me Rey,_ but that would have been soon, much too soon. Instead, she hollered right back.

“Yeah?”

“Is there any chance you could… help me put my shirt on?”

She chuckled. How could he be so sweet? Was he a secret agent at all? More like a secret puppy.

“Just a second!” She set the can aside, but let the fire burn in the bucket as she made her way to the bathroom.

She wasn’t prepared to find the door open.

There he was, only in his black thermo pants, clutching onto his white undershirt shyly. A vast expanse of steaming, white skin was on full display. Her gazespanned  the muscles ripping with energy, and she realized the sight of them was more effective at heating her up from the inside than the damn whisky he’d offered her.

Fuck. He looked good. _Too good._

She hoped her ogling came off as  dumbstruck staring at his white shirt as he wordlessly offered it to her and stuck out his arms for her to put them into the holes of the clothing. She did what was necessary, smiling amusedly when he bent his knees deep so she could pull it over his head.

“You have a nasty bruise on your ribs,” she remarked carefully.

“Yeah, I know. As you can see… this wasn’t my greatest mission ever.”He grimaced.

“Mine either,” she said sympathetically, reaching for his jacket and helping it on him, before fixing the  splint back where it belonged.

_________________________________

**_Ben_ **

They didn’t really need words to communicate. Was it due to their similar training? Or was it something else?

“Thank you,” he said.

She smiled at him as a response.

A smell of smoke hit his nose and he wrenched his gaze from he rosy lips, from her kind eyes which let him know that she didn’t mind nursing him at all.

“Something is burning,” he muttered, switching into panic mode.

“Oh! I made some fire from some dry wood I found in the kitchen in a bucket. We’ll smell like smoke and lentils, but it was the best solution I could find,” Kira explained, tuning on her heels and heading back into the bedroom where she -- apparently -- had been cooking one of the dubious-looking cans.

“Are you sure there’s enough oxygen here?”

Dying over a bottle of whisky or dying from carbon monoxide poisoning seemed equally laughable causes of death for a secret agent.

“Don’t worry,” she said over her shoulders as she merrily strode back into the bedroom, her round ass, accentuated by the tailored blazer, swinging in front of his eyes, “I opened the window just a tad. Besides, this house is rather… airy.”

His reaction, a hum, started out more like a growl in his throat, which he quickly masked by clearing his throat and finishing the ‘uh-hum’ decently. 

God, this woman was a cocktease.

Unintendedly so.

A kind, fierce girl, taking care of him and cooking him dinner from the expired, possibly lethal, cans -- what else could he ask for? He’d never been pampered like this in his whole life. Well. Not with this kind of selfless  kindness.

_She is just doing what she was trained for,_ his saner part argued. They were trained to take care of their partners on missions, weren’t they? Yes, they were.

_There you go, Ben. No need to imagine more than there is._

The bucket, indeed, harbored the flames, harmlessly flickering like a bunch of cobras. Rey lifted the grid from the ground and set it back on top of it, stirring the contents a few times before declaring it ready to consume.

She was beaming again, probably feeling the high of solving another problem.

Why did she have to be so cheery all the time?

_____________________________________________

 

**_Rey_ **

****

Rey was fuming. He really didn’t have to make such a disgusted face at her cheerful “dinner!” exclamation, she groused while setting the can on the  kitchen table.

Okay. This wasn’t something she wanted to eat either, but lentils were protein and carbs and now, because of her, they were warm. Besides, shee had eaten expired canned food more times than she dared to count and only once did doing so make her  vomit for two straight days. There was nothing to be afraid of. Statistically.

“Your loss,” she shrugged then, and dug in, blowing the hot sticky substance, then, demonstratively putting it in her mouth.

“Wait!” he moved to sit on the opposite side, pulling out a spoon from the drawer, nervously swallowing as if he were actually worried over eating this… stuff.

So. He knew what desperation felt like, Rey noticed with a satisfied grin, her teeth already grinding the tender lentils. They weren’t bad, actually. Again, she’d eaten worse in her childhood.

She amusedly observed as Kylo lifted a spoonful of the stew and held it up for examination in the scarce light, then sniffed at it before finally takinga minuscule lick. He was like a wild animal, smelling the foul odor of the medicine hidden in the meat, but unable to withstand the temptation.

She snorted when he finally decided it was worth the risk and pushed the spoon into his mouth, grimacing.

“Oh come on, Kylo! It’s not _that_ bad!” she chastised him.

He swallowed dramatically.

“It really is,” he complained. “What have they been feeding you at Kingsman? Dead rats?”

He meant it as a sarcastic, playful remark, and any other person would have laughed it off. Not Rey though. Not her.

Because she did know what a rat tasted like -- surprisingly okay, if you caught it in the woods and not in the city -- those in the city were risky -- infections and poison and what not. Anyway, she had been to Asia;people _ate_ rats there regularly. But, of course, as a Western-European, growing up eating rat flesh occasionally… it wasn’t something you discussed openly.

So she just silently pushed another spoon of those lentils into her mouth, swallowing hard on the substance -- and on her tears, on the bitterness, on her still-simmering rage that she’d been left by her parents. They just _left_ her.

______________________________________

 

**_Ben_ **

“Kira?” he pleaded with her carefully, suddenly worried as he saw her go still and bitter -- so, so bitter.

That meant…

She didn’t acknowledge him at all, staring at the table.

He had barely known her for half a day. Why did it hurt so much that she closed herself off into memories that he had no idea about? Logically, he knew he shouldn’t blame himself and that Kira, a very intelligent woman, would not hold against him this unintended insult.

Still… it hurt just as much as breaking his arm had.

Trying to catch her eyes, he ducked his head, begging her to look at him.

“Kira, I’m… I’m sorry if I…”

“You couldn’t have known,” she cut him off primly.

“Did they really do that to you? Make you eat… rats?” he pressed before he could stop himself, surprised at the ferocity of the anger that hit him. It made his voice brim with anger.

Her eyes snapped to his.“What?! No, of course not!” she exclaimed. Then went still and small. “Not them. No. They have been nothing but kind. I’d  either be in prison or in a brothel without the agency.” Her spoon went in for another bite and Ben… he gingerly reached for her hand, placing his fingers onto hers in a feather-light touch.

“Then who? Tell me, please.”

Kira froze on the spot, staring at his hand on hers. Even her mouth stopped chewing mid-bite.

Ben snatched back is hand.

“Sorry,” he breathed. Apparently, he couldn’t control himself around this girl. Who was he to demand anything of her? To touch her like that?

“Thank you for dinner,” he said curtly while fleeing the room, biting on the inside of his cheek.

_Fuck. Fuck!_

With his left hand, he tore on his hair to withstand the temptation to punch a wall. One broken hand was enough as it was.

He heard Kira resume her meal, the metal of the spoon hitting the can in an increasingly faster tempo as she emptied every last drop of the shitty stew. To her, it must have been a slightly less disgusting meal.

Ben understood now that Kira had not been trained to be so hard and put-together. Her harsh past molded her into the fearless, ingenious woman it was plainly visible she was. And she couldn’t afford one single misstep. Kingsman was all she had and would ever have. He could see that now.

Not everybody had _options_ like him.

________________________________

 

**_Rey_ **

 

She remained seated at the table, eating mechanically until her churning emotions were back under control again.

The way he touched her hand… it made her breath catch in her lungs and sent frissons down her spine. She could feel his anger. His anger _on her behalf._

_This man… this man would kill for you, Rey. And he hasn’t even known you for a day._

She did not react because… because there were just too many emotions erupting in her, his kind gesture piercing her right into the middle of her insecurities. She had to put her mask back on. She had herresting bitch face down to an art. The unapproachable woman. She could turn back into her in a heartbeat..

Scaring him.

_Great job, girl. Just send him off  crying._

The lentil stew eventually ran out, no matter how hard she tried to scrape more out of the can. She was still hungry -- again, nothing like the hunger she’d known as a child, . but Kylo… Kylo was twice her size and a man. Surely, he must be hungry.

She bit her lip, contemplating whether to heat up another can for him alone. She found it surprisingly easy to tend to his unspoken needs. Where this selflessness welled from, she had absolutely no idea.

Who was this man who kept popping up behind her carefully constructed walls, making her want to take care of him when she normally would look out only for herself?

His agitated steps as he strode up and down the bedroom awakened a slight sensation of guilt in her. Her inability to show her emotions had upset him, although she knew he’d only been trying to be considerate.

Pushing back her chair, she nervously stepped over to the bedroom, finding him running his hand through his hair and chewing on the inside of his lips.

His gaze flew to her, and Rey could see he was afraid of her reaction.

“Kylo, it’s okay,” she said gently, meaning every word.

“It’s not,” he declared. “Even if you forgive me for trespassing, nobody should be forced to live like that.”

She drew in a shuddering breath. She wanted to tell him. Explain. But she couldn’t look into his eyes.

The sun went down by now, the only source of light the embers of the fire in the bucket. The sour smell of smoke lingered in the room, eating itself irrevocably into every scrap of fabric.

As she stared at him, paralized by the too many things she wanted to share with him and -- at the same time -- craved to bury so deep no one, not even herself, could find them again, she again noticed the power of his eyes. The deep, now charcoal pupils reflected the smoldering embers, as if they themselves were burning with a fire threatening to consume her.

Rey swallowed and did what she did best. She deflected.

“I’m taking the floor for the night.”

“What?! No, you are not, Kira. It’s dangerous!” he snapped at her, outraged.

Apparently, Kylo had a temper.

“Of course I am,” she scoffed, “I have this thermal anorak that can withstand absolute zero. And all you have is your shitty, torn clothes, and a broken arm…”

___________________________________

 

**_Ben_ **

****

He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Did she want to get sick from the cold?! The girl was out of her damn mind.

“Kira,” he called her name with every authority he could muster, “you’re not going to sleep on this floor. Not while I’m around. And don’t argue because I’ll  fight you on this.”

She swallowed visibly, her eyes going a bit wider, and he could tell by the way she instinctively slipped into combat position that she was intimidated by him now.

Good. He would drag her on that bed kicking and screaming, if he had to. He wasn’t going to allow her to do irreversible damage to her body.

She glared back, probably offended by his mansplaining. But he wouldn’t relent. Not on this one.

“I’m going to find another place to sleep,” he declared and strode out of the room.

“And where exactly will you sleep, Kylo?” she followed after him, raising her voice in equal fury. “On that kitchen table?”

“It’s actually not a bad idea,” he muttered and went to examine the furniture.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Kira argued with him. “This table wouldn’t be able to fit half of my body, let alone yours.”

Standing in front of the table in question, Ben reluctantly realized that Kira was not wrong. The table, just as everything in this house, was also tailored to the very humble needs of one person.

He turned around and eyed her height, comparing it to the table’s size.

“I’m happy to take the table,” Kira jumped at the opportunity as if reading his mind.

Ben rolled his eyes.

“Stubborn woman,” he muttered and strode back to the bedroom.

“What?!” Kira yelped, but now there was a smile in her voice.

He stood in front of the bed, staring at it as if his mere gaze could double the size of it.

______________________________

 

**_Rey_ **

****

She stopped in the doorway, looking at Kylo pursing his lips in irritation over the situation, probably running a geometrical analysis of how they would make this work. He was a huge man and even with her slight body, this bed would be an impossibly tight space.

“We’ll make this work, Kira. Now’s not the time to be shy,” he concluded.

Her eyes bulged.

Surely, he couldn’t know about the reaction this remark mixed with her more indecent thoughts about him caused.

He blushed.

“Not like that,” he muttered, then began to gather all fabrics and blankets there were.

“We can lie oppositely and then you would have enough space at my feet,” he suggested.

Rey was so thankful he didn’t look at her, because her face just turned tomato red in the darkness.

_That’s my favorite position._

“Sure,” she answered instead hastily. “I’m gonna change.”

“Please, don’t tell me, you packed pajamas too?” Kylo groaned.

She laughed.“No, silly. I’m gonna  take off this suit and put my jacket back on., That  way, you can have more blankets. Will you allow me that, at least?”

“Of course,” he answered, sounding generous.

She walked back into the bathroom for her giant coat, antsy about this whole sleeping together thing.

Kylo was, of course right. She couldn’t sleep on the floor without risking serious health problems. The unheated cabin had little more than boards over the frozen earth, and even with the best of the agency’s thermal tech,  a night spent exposed to those frigid temperatures would put the human body at serious risk.

Question was, were the problems of her heart, which threatened to be inflicted by sleeping with him in this bed, less life-threatening than a risk of a kidney-inflammation on the cold floor?

_______________________

****

**_Ben_ **

****

He arranged himself on the bed, shaking off his shoes and piling as many layers on himself as was humanly possible. They smelled a little stale and sour, but his muscles pleasantly relaxed under their warmth and weight.

Kira walked back in a few moments later,  clad once again in her white anorak a. In her hands, she held her suit jacket, her chemise and… her bra.

_Damn_.

Of course, she wouldn’t be sleeping in them, but he still had to suppress that soft curse.

She arranged her clothes neatly on the kitchen chair’s backrest before walking back into the bedroom, assessing the situation.  Her hands restedt on her hips in a very ready for action manner.

When her eyes found his in the low light, she giggled.

“I see you have really piled up the blankets.”

“There’s some space underneath here,” he told her amicably and shuffled even closer to the edge of the mattress

Wasting no more time, she stepped to the bed, and sat down in the middle to take off her boots, then lay down, her head resting at his feet on a pillow Ben saved and prepared for her. She shuffled and stirred, burying herself deep into the pile of blankets until the position was comfortable enough.

He breathed for a while, letting the realisation sink in that he was sharing a bed with her. Whereas he was counting on an onslaught of inappropriate thoughts, surprisingly enough, he only wished she would lie facing him so he could cuddle with her.

For warmth. Absolutely for warmth only.

___________________________________

 

**_Rey_ **

Again, this thoughtfulness... Having inventoried all items of the bedding herself, Rey knew that there had been only one pillow. Logically. One bed for one person and one pillow.

Consequently, Kylo must have denied himself this small luxury in her favor.

The pillow smelled faintly of lavender, she noticed. Apparently, its previous owner was trying to protect it from moths, Rey thought as she rearranged the filling again for no other reason than to revel in this feeling -- the feeling that Kylo had thought of her comfort.

She listened to his breathing even out as the fire’s embers died down and darkness settled on them. Save for the howling of the wind outside, everything was calm in the room.

_This cabin, and everything that happens here… you could make this a parenthesis in your life. You could tell him… things that you haven’t told anyone. No one will have to know. If you wanted to kill him after this, no one would think it was you. He’s injured... just as easily as you took care of him, you could finish him. He trusts you. You could do it._

The image of him on his knees at the receiving end of her gun flashed through her mind. She shivered. No one should have power like this over another person. It felt wrong. This trust… this trust they had in each other... was dangerous. She had power over him and he… he had power over her. Rey realized she trusted him not to kill _her_ in her sleep.

_Terrifying._

She fled to Kingsman because she didn’t want anything, not even faith, to have power over her unless she chose to surrender to it.

No more hungry nights, against which she had no means to fight. No more lonely nights, blaming her parents. No more feeling like a black sheep in her dirty, worn-down clothes at school. No more school psychologists digging in her head against her will.

Kira Smith wasn’t the girl Rey Saunders had been. Kira was powerful. Kira was a secret agent.

But Rey… Rey is still there, inside..

And Rey wanted to do right by this man. He deserved to know that it wasn’t his fault. Or Kingsman’s.

_____________________________________

****

**_Ben_ **

“I used to live in the outer parts of London when I was a child,” she began, her voice barely above a whisper, so quiet that Ben had to slow down his own breathing to catch her words, shyly confessed to the darkness of the room.

“My parents… my parents left me when I was around three or four… I don’t remember anymore,” Kira continued. “All I remember is being t held back by someone while I hollered after them to return to me … and my mother, I remember she turned back, saying: ‘We will come back for you, sweetheart.’”

The endearment felt like a punch in his gut.

_I’ve called her sweetheart without knowing this._

 

> _I am not your sweetheart._

It was like he could only hit her most tender points. Fucking moron.

Kira cleared her throat, and took in a shaky breath. “I can’t remember her face anymore,” she whispered, laced with desperation. “I can’t even remember what my mother looked like.”

Ben lay there, paralyzed.

_Does she think I’m sleeping? Should I let her know I’m not?_

He was desperate to listen to her, but not to eavesdrop.

Tentatively, he brushed his pointer finger against her knee where his hand lay, enough to let her know that this wasn’t accidental. Just a feather-light touch, repeated a few times.

Kira took in a surprised, fast breath, her body tensing for a moment before she relaxed.

_______________________________

**_Rey_ **

He was awake.

_Why do you have to be so damn considerate, Kylo? Why are you playing so fair?_

Swallowing, Rey collected her courage to continue. To finish what she started.

“I was put into foster care after that. One would assume England would provide for an orphaned child but… well. I knew how to hunt for rats for a reason. I think the man who ran my orphanage, , Unkar Plutt, stole all the money he received, giving us children only the bare minimum. We had something to eat, but almost always went to bed feeling hungry.”

Kylo’s finger returned to touch her again, tentatively. Rey didn’t know how it was possible to feel so ignited and vulnerable at the same time, but the touch of his body to hers, even by mere centimeters and barred by a thick layer of ski overalls, she could still feel his heat  beneath the blankets. She melted into his touch and he kept  caressing her gently with a reverence Rey didn’t know existed.

“Actually, rats don’t taste so bad if you catch them in the wild. It’s the ones that infest the city that are inedible.”

Kylo hummed in understanding, no doubt filing away that information for future use. In their line of work, you never knew when some random titbit could prove handy. 

A silence settled on them -- Kylo stroking her knee carefully up and down while she was lost in distant memories.

“You almost make me want to try one,” he rumbled absentmindedly, his voice sleepy and low.

She chuckled.

“I can’t even imagine.”

She could feel him smile back, his movements losing momentum. Hesitantly, she let her hand slide down to his, brushing her finger over his, until he hooked them together in a last, almost unconscious move before he fell asleep.

She ran her thumb over his finger.

_Maker, are your hands huge,_ she thought before yawning and, burrowing herself deeper into the bed, let sleep finally claim her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much deedreamer for beating. <3


	4. day 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know something, she said something  
> Orange, yellow, white and red  
> I keep waiting, smoking, praying  
> That I won't fall outta heaven no more  
> No more

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, have some smut.

****

 

 

**December 21 (day 2)**

**_Ben_ **

****

He woke up to the smell of fresh fire (thankfully coming from the kitchen) and some clattering. As he tried to stirr, a sharp pain shot through his head and he groaned. It hurt like a bitch and he fell back to the bed, screwing his eyes shut.

No doubt roused by his sounds, Kira came to inspect him.

“Good morning, Kylo,” she cheerily greeted him. The piercing sunshine of her personality made him wince, like there would have been actual sunrays coming in through the window - which, due to the ongoing storm, was not the case.

Thus, he groaned again.

“Are you alright?” Kira frowned.

“No, my head hurts like a bitch,” he grumbled.

“Oh. What happened?”

“I fell like 20 meters with a snowmobile and then lost my consciousness yesterday,” he whined through the sharpening headache.

“You must have a concussion,” Kira supplied, stepping closer to him and shuffling around in her anorak, judging by the sounds.

“Here,” she said from near, and Ben fought to open his eyes. She looked composed as ever in her sharp pantsuit, like last night never would have happened. In her hand, she held a piece of painkiller-looking thing and in the other, a glass of water. With great difficulty, he pushed himself up, a sudden nausea hitting him.

“Are you going to poison me?” he inquired her jokingly, but his suffering was apparent. Taking the pill from her hand and putting it on his tongue, willing himself not to throw up.

“You wish. I have planned far worse than that,” she said, handing him the water. He took a sip and swallowed the pill, then emptied the glass.

“Finally whipping out that famous rat stake of yours?” he pressed out, while he scrambled back under the sheets.

Kira smirked.

“I found some oat and made porridge with water.”

Ben whimpered in agony.

“I know,” she lilted, satisfied with her revenge, then bounced back into the kitchen.

_________________

 

**_Rey_ **

****

After making him eat the better part of the porridge (he behaved this time, though she could see the disgust on his face), and fixing his arm again, she ordered him to go back to sleep. Until it happened, she busied herself with cleaning the kitchen tools and inspecting every inch of the house once again.

When she was sure he was deeply sleeping, she went to put on her anorak and went out into the blizzard to set up a few traps in the surrounding woods. Animals could hold out for days without food, but they would, eventually, have to come out. And she just happened to have read an excellent ice scrabbler receipt when preparing for this mission. The rodent-like creature was surely greedy enough to venture out for a little snacking in the trees.

After setting up her traps, she returned to the cabin, completely frozen despite her gear that could withstand this weather on Hoth. She found Kylo in a much better shape, lazily putting wood on the fire she ignite in the wood fire stove.

______________________________

****

**_Ben_ **

She must have been out for hours, judging by the thick layer of snow covering her head and goggles. When she extracted herself from the equipment, he could see her rosy cheeks and red lips.

His heart halted.

Against the white clothes, she was even more radiant like this, the nature’s makeup enhancing her beauty.

“I’m sorry about the fire,” she said apologetically, “but I didn’t want to risk another carbon-monoxide poisoning. We were lucky enough as it was.”

“No problem, I don’t think anyone in their right mind could trace us in this storm. What have you been up to?”

“Just planning your assasination,” she smiled at him angelically.

Ben chuckled.

“I sat up some traps for that rat steak. All this nostalgia made me crave one,” she answered now in merits, her answer interwoven with sarcasm.  Shaking off the snow on the porch from her clothes she started to undress. Ben stepped to her, taking away the items she lost.

For an insane second, he wondered how far that undressing could go.

“I made you some tea,” he supplied instead as nonchalantly as it was possible.

“Really?!” Kira yelped, beaming at him. “How?”

_Heavens are you beautiful._

“This kitchen turns out to be a treasure chest,” he smirked, basking in her radiant smile.

He noticed how her irises were a mixture of green and hazel and how all her impeccable white teeth showed as her lips thinned under the pressure of her grin. She had dimples. Actually, dimples. How on earth could she be so cute when she was lethal as a bullet?

“I was dying for a good cup of tea!” Kira declared, speeding up her undressing, so much that she almost fell over trying to get out of her anorak. Her hand shot out, steadying herself on his bicep and he counterbalanced.

“It’s camomile,” he informed her.

Her reaction did not disappoint.

“Oh.”

Ben bit down hard on his lips not to bark out a laugh how her excitement melted away.

“Well, I guess it’s a justified comeback for the water-based porridge,” she conceded, taking her clothes from him and marching into the kitchen.

Later, when all her wet clothes were arranged to dry and she was holding onto a big cup of steaming camomile tea opposite to him at the kitchen table, he felt a strange sense of calm.

Looking at her, he began to understand what prompted people to want a family, the four walls and the home. Waking up seeing the same face for a lifetime.

_This… this could be your life. Her, with you, in a cabin somewhere far away from what you are doing right now. Living a life for yourself and not for the higher purpose of geopolitical shenanigans._

He blew his own cup, and carefully took a sip.

_______________________________________

 

**_Rey_ **

****

Maybe she could get used to this, she thought while she busied herself with saving her tongue from burning, her attention seemingly fixed on the cup like it would have contained the answers to these sudden questions.

She felt his gaze on herself.

_Could I read my future from the tea leafs? Would there be a future for us?_

“How are you feeling?” she asked him instead.

“Better, thank you,” he softly replied, trying to subtly slurp on his tea. “What about you?” he inquired carefully in that velvety, deep voice of his which felt like a balm on her scorched soul. His whiskey colored eyes searching her through the mist of the tea.

Rey knew what he meant was the things she told him last night. Her first reaction would have been to deflect. Oh. Rey was so good at deflecting. Honed this skill to perfection in her childhood. This time, however, a small voice prompted her to be honest.

_He cares about you, Rey. Genuinely so. Just try it, for this once._

She swallowed, the tea thawing her.

“Good,” she answered, giving him an insecure little twitch of her lips.

He nodded seriously, as if understanding the sacrifice of admitting her weak moment in the daylight as well. He didn't comment and inhaled again a bit of the hot liquid.

“Why did you join Statesman?” she asked suddenly, desperate to know more about him, to feel less bare. Tit for tat. One admission for another.

_______________________________

**_Ben_ **

Ben huffed. Why again? It’s been so long. He chewed on his lips for a moment, trying to get his thoughts in order.

“Honestly, I don’t even know. I was eighteen and in a bad headspace I guess. My parents were always fighting, in and out of their marriage, and I always the chip of bargain in the middle of it. No one really asked what I wanted, what I felt. I finished school alright, couldn’t be a disappointment to my senator mother, after all. After and argument where my dad - a former marine himself - told me to get out of my own ass and to be a man. I figured…  yeah. I wanted to be a man. A real one and not just someone who had a dick.”

The vile in his words made him vince. Just thinking of his father, his deflections made him angry to a point of nausea. Ben knew he was holding on to grudge against a dead man. A useless war waged. But he couldn't help it.

“What's a real man like?” Kira’s eyebrows shot to her hairline.

He looked into her eyes.

“Someone who knows how to be there for the others. Who can take care of himself and of others around him. Manners maketh man.”

Kira nodded slowly. There was something like a flash of understanding flickering over her face.

He cleared his throat, averting his eyes, embarrassed at his outburst.

“Anyway. Statesman found me pretty soon after that, on the enlistments of the marines,” he continued in a much calmer voice, monotone like reciting a mission briefing. “I made it through the recruitment and my first few missions when I learned that my grandmother, Senator Padme Amidala had founded the organisation ---”

“--- _the_ Padme Amidala?” Her eyes bulged. “With ---”

“ --- yes, who later married her personal guard, Agent Anakin Skywalker.”

“You’re a baron then,” Kira whispered in astonishment, leaning back in her chair.

“It doesn’t matter anymore. I left it all behind when I became an agent,” he pointed out courtly, his cheeks flaming in embarrassment.

Ben Solo was long dead, locked up behind a nondescript door of his soul and he no longer had the key.

“I'm impressed. I always thought that nobles didn’t know the next thing about life. And there you go, throwing away the comfort of your life to serve your country.” She tilted her head. “Hands down.”

He was quick to correct her.

“I… I didn’t do it for my country. I did it for myself. I wanted to feel in control. I wanted to learn things that I couldn’t learn from my parents. I wanted… I wanted to leave behind that mess. To be free.”

“Funny how you ran away from your family… while I ran away from being alone,” Kira remarked, trailing off.

“I'm sorry, I know I must seem like an ungrateful, spoiled rich kid - - - “

“No,” she cut him off firmly.

He gaped.

_________________

**_Rey_ **

“No, you don't. I… forgive me for assuming… but from what you told me it seems to me that you have been just as alone as I was, even if you had had a family. In that sense, maybe we both are grateful for the camaraderie the agency provides us; we, in a sense, are never alone again. Even if our relationship with our fellow agents is based on professional ties.”

She could see how he carefully considered her words. Then, his full lips quirked, his eyes glinting gleefully.

“That's true. Even now, in the middle of nowhere in this endless snowstorm, you're not alone.”

“Neither are you,” she lilted, mirroring his playfulness.

They sat there, holding each other's gaze for a few moments, unspoken questions and considerations rippling in the air.

Rey was the one to first break away, glancing into her now empty cup.

The tea leaves on the bottom seemed as nondescript as ever. No luck telling her fortune then.

She sighed to herself.

“I think I need to chop some wood,” Kylo murmured and her eyes flitted to the rapidly decreasing heap of fire material as well.

She looked at him quizzically.

“You? Chopping wood? With one hand?“

He smirked, a roguish twitch of his lips and Rey wanted to pull him over the table and lick it off his face.

“Just watch me. I'm not letting you do this too.”

“Kylo. I understand you have issues with this ‘real man thing’, but you are injured. It just doesn't make sense. You can be a man in other ways.”

The second those words left her mouth, she realised its implications but she couldn't bring herself to deny how much she spoke her heart _._

Blushing, she averted her eyes.

____________________________

**_Ben_ **

 

He licked his lips to gain some time.

_Is that what you want, little snow leopard?_

Ultimately, he decided it wasn't worth the risk to ask it aloud.

Pushing back the seat he rose to his feet.

“I will accept some help though,” he declared and headed to the adjacent storage room.

He heard her follow. Ducking his head under the doorway, he looked around. Firewood was piled in neat rows, from the floor to the ceiling, in the middle, a wide trunk with an axe in it.

Ben stepped closer and yanked it out of the wood.

“Congratulations, King Arthur,” Kira purred humorously.

He rolled his eyes, then started to inspect the sharpness and the stability of the head.

“This seems to be in good shape,” he concluded.

“Great! What do you want me to do?“ Kira asked.

“Put the wood on the trunk. And to help take off my shirt.”

Kira, who already had been inspecting the piles, suddenly turned to him.

“Is this part of your ‘real man’ thing?“ Kira asked, cocking her head.

_Yes. Let me see those eyes go round seeing my naked body._

He rolled his eyes. _Smooth, Solo, smooth._

“No; this is part of my ‘ I don't want to catch a cold in my sweaty clothes’ thing.”

“Alright, alright!“ she said defensively. “No need to bite my head off,” she grumbled.

Just like yesterday, they managed to get him out of his clothes quite seamlessly.

________________________

**_Rey_ **

Again, there he was, towering above her with that infuriatingly beautiful body, with the wide pectorals and six pack and broad shoulders…

Shaking her head, she flew to get the first piece of wood, setting the log securely on top of the trunk, and stepped to the side, minding to avoid the path of the axe.

Kylo tried first the angle and his one-handed hold on the handle. She could see the way he hesitated that he was insecure, but she decided she would let him fight his fight with this. The undisturbed view was certainly compensating her well enough. Kylo was too preoccupied figuring out the technique and she could let her eyes roam over every flexing muscle - the way they became even more visible under the pale skin.

_How much longer can I withstand him?_

The first swing of the axe took her by surprise, although she had been staring at him. She winced at the sharp sound and saw that Kylo has successfully wedged the blade of the axe into the log and now lifted the whole thing to strike down again, using every part of his body for the motion. The wood obediently parted under the weight of his power.

Rey shuddered.

“I think this will work,” Kylo declared, positively beaming, proud of himself.

With a court nod, she hastily went to retrieve the next victim, trying to hide her blush. She couldn’t see how a wolfish smirk flew over Kylo’s face behind her back.

The process sped up after that; the axe coming down with a devastating blow each time, Kylo grunting, sweat breaking out on his skin, glistering and steaming. 

_Like a stallion._

_________________________________

**_Ben_ **

****

The whole shirtless idea - besides of being practical - was supposed to fluster her a little. Just a little teasing, as it turned out to be their habit.

But not long after he started, Ben forgot about that completely, surrendering himself to the comfort of the mechanical motions. Chopping wood was indeed an excellent opportunity to let out some pent-up frustration. Soon, he did not only use his whole body, but his whole soul, channeling all his childhood frustration with his father, with his mother into the movement - and also this whole, unspoken but solidifying attraction to Kira.

This could never be anything but a warming-up fucking between them. Which would never be enough. He wanted her entirely.

His axe went down again and again relentlessly. Sweat broke on his forehead despite the unfriendly temperatures, the drops rolling into his eyes. He wiped them away hastily, then his palm on his trouser as the handle turned slippery in his hand. Faintly, her registered how his back started hurting, yet, he pushed himself.

_You._ Chop. _Can’t._ Chop. _Have._ Chop. _Her._ Chop.

_Look at me, father, am I a man enough now?_

Chop. Chop. Chop.

Kira came and placed her finger on his forearm as gingerly a summer morning.

“I think this will be enough,” she gently said, her hazel eyes searching for his.

All of a sudden, reality came back to him. He was panting and sweating and every muscle in his body was burning. He looked at the giant pile of wood, surprised by the quantity he cut, obviously having been lost down the angry and hurtful memories for long minutes he didn’t even know passed.

He felt so far away from her, and yet she stood right there. Her fingers on his glistering forearm were his anchor which stopped him spiralling deeper into this vortex.

_And I thought I had a grip on this._   

“Kylo?”

With great difficulty, he lifted his eyes from the pile of wood to search out hers. Her hazel eyes were trained on him, observing him at him with the most sincere expression. The concern was clearly written on her face. 

_You can find comfort in me,_ they seemed to radiate. _I get you. Stay with me. Don’t go to this place where I have no idea how to follow._

He could have kissed her then. _Should have_ kissed her right there and then.

Instead, he nodded, cutting the axe into the trunk with a careless motion, still holding her gaze.

It flitted to his lips, he saw it.

But he was a Solo deep down. So he went to take a bath.

By the time he closed the door behind him, he could have howled in his frustration. Also. He realized he was half hard.

“Fuck,” he hissed. How long has he been standing like that, like some kind of depraved creep?

He quickly put the immersion heater into the water, letting it warm up the water until he peeled off his pants. He was disgusting. Truly disgusting.

Then let himself sink into the tub, feeling how his overworked muscles relaxed, ached and how he… he grew harder thinking of her. Her beautiful eyes flitting to his lips.

Gods, she _wanted_ him.

“Fuck,” he breathed again, letting his left hand slide to palm his length, to gently tug on his balls.

He knew he shouldn’t have done this. He felt dirty touching himself to her image, to the way he painted her in his mind, that cocky mouth of hers stuffed with his shaft; her peachy ass in the air as he rutted into her; her glazed over eyes as he ruined her for every man there was to come while she panted his name, his _real_ name.

He fucked his palm with determination, squeezing it to make himself come fast and hard, instead of teasing, like he normally would have. There was no time for luxuriating in this feeling when the subject of his desire was right outside the door.

_______________________________

**_Rey_ **

She bit down hard on the fabric of her suit, while her fingers swiftly worked herself to the inevitable high. Kylo would be done soon with the bath, even if she could anticipate that his tired body would keep him longer in the water than last time. She had both hands in her panties; in front of her eyes the frames of his body flickered on endless loop.

Those hands… those strong, huge hands which could wield an axe single handedly… how that vice grip would feel in her thighs, on her ass as he fucked into her with a cock that would split her in half…

She knew he was proportionate. Saw it through the outline of his pants there in the storage room while he angrily chopped the huge logs into pieces like it would have been made of butter.

Fuck.

_Come for me, Rey, come for me, little dove, let me see y…_

With the last thought, she commanded herself to stay silent as her orgasm hit her, her whole body convulsing on the mattress. When she came down, she panted and quickly scrambled up, wiping her hands on the bed sheet absentmindedly.

“Oh, fuck,” she whispered. Still dizzy from her high, she stood on wobbly feet, going into the kitchen and washing her hand thoroughly.

_____________________

**_Ben_ **

****

Only a fucking moron - like him - came into the bathtub he was sitting in.

Groaning, he leaned back for a few heartbeats, the fog lifting from his brain. He already felt a lot more composed, ready to face the pull of his fellow agent again.

He opened the window, scooping up a bucket of fresh snow and heated it with the immersion heater, and rinsed the wooden barrel thoroughly, then himself again.

When he was sure he was done, he put his pants back on. He would need to do a laundry day soon, no matter how impractical it would be. Maybe he could pass a day in bed until they dried?

When he got back, Kira was already inspecting the cans again.

“Fancy beans this time?“

There was a new kind of nervousness in her, even if she tried to hide it. Her voice just a tick higher, her nonchalance a hint more forced than usually. And the lovely blush on her cheeks…

_It’s impossible… could she have…?_

“We should inspect your traps if you think it's already worth a try,” Ben answered.

Kira glanced at him from above the can.

“Do you want your shirt back for _that_ at least?“

“I wouldn't mind,” he smiled.

Kira stood, taking the garment from the backrest of the chair she had been occupying close to the stove.

He obediently bent his knees and ducked his head and arms through the holes,  his face hovering inches from hers; their lips parted by little more than a breath. Kira’s lips parted, her pupils blown so wide he could barely see their color.

_Now. Kiss her now,_ his mind chanted.

No. He couldn’t. He shouldn’t start something he couldn’t finish.

Kira pulled down the shirt, her hand smoothing over his sides gently, hands forgotten in a long touch. The fabric was pleasantly warm and dry - a feeling he had been sorely missing in the last days.

_Is this the warmth of your heart I’m feeling, my little snow leopard? There was no warning about you in my briefing, you know. They said it would be freezing, instead I am burning up from the inside. If I go out and stand in the blizzard now, could I extinguish this fire you ignited in me? Could I still go back to the way I was, if I left you now?_

“Let’s go,” he prompted her.

He took his guns too, inspecting the load with practiced motions.

“What is that for?” she asked curiously.

“Just planning your assasination, my dear,” he smiled at her roguishly while clicking back the magazine.

_____________________

**_Rey_ **

Honestly, she doubted there would be any catches in the traps yet, but any slim prospect of proper meat was worth the risk. It’s been almost two entire days since they ate anything worth mentioning.

And everything was better than letting Kylo wander around shirtless for another second. She could see his eyes flitting to her lips, too. Did he touch himself in the tub thinking of her, just like she had?

She shook those thoughts away, concentrating instead on finding her traps.

The first one came up empty; just as the second one. But halfway through the forest, Kylo abruptly grabbed her by her arm and bodily dragged her to the ground.

She let out a surprised yelp.

“Sssh,” he hushed her. “Stay down,” he whispered, while peaking ahead.

“What is there? Did someone find us?” she asked, panicked and she also pulled out her gun.

Kylo didn’t answer, but started crawling on his stomach forward with a grace of an injured seal, his eyes fixated on a point she couldn’t see.

“Kylo---”

“Sssh!”

He closed one of his eyes as he aimed, holding the gun in his left hand. The weapon swooshed under the muffler. Then the sound of a heavy thud hit her ears.

Kylo turned to her, a wide, relaxed, proud smile on his lips.

“That, dear, was our dinner. Quite literally. My _deer_ ,” he smirked.

Rey gaped at him for a second in pure horror.

“Did you just ---- did you just pull a pun on me?!” she shrieked, throwing a handful of snow into his face.

He sputtered, rolling on his back and tried to wipe the molten coldness out of his face with the back of his left hand which still held the gun.

Rey quickly grabbed his wrist, pinning it to the side of his head.

“If you really want to kill me, at least, don't do it accidentally,” she chastised him.

______________

 

**_Ben_ **

He felt her weight on top of him, her body draped over his chest, as she held his hand pinned to the ground in a sound grip. Her hands were too small to wrap entirely around his, especially given his thick leather gloves, but she made it work anyway.

_My little snow leopard._

He risked to open one of his eyes, fearing that water could roll into it and peaked up at her from under his lashes.

Kira froze and blushed a shade that could be not attributed to the cold but did not pull away.

Lying on his back, he vaguely registered that the storm had transformed. The snowflakes were falling gently from above, and the wind blew tamed, but the clouds rippled with a never-ending electrical current that still blocked every communication device on the planet.

How fitting of a background this was for her... the flickering clouds above her, the harsh Hoth winter and her, blooming with life.

There were only so many times Ben could deny his urge of kissing her.

His left hand still pinned by hers, he lifted his injured right arm, brushing the back of his finger along her rosy cheek and lifted his head wordlessly, pressing his lips to hers gingerly. At the contact, his eye slid shut again.

Her lips fitted perfectly on his, soft, warm, sweet. Ben actively tried to carve this moment into his memories for whatever might come later - this one moment, when his soul sighed, alleviated, when he finally felt something he never had.

_Home_. 

She had all the control, being on top. She could easily pull away, slap him in the face, strangle him to death.

Yet, he was the first one to break away, even if only by millimeters.

Kira pulled in a shaky breath and her hand around his wrist loosened as she peered at him with foggy eyes, considering him. He opened his palm, letting the gun slide out into the snow. He’d clean that later.

His head was still hovering in the air, neck straining, but he didn’t want to put any more distance between them. They were not finished yet.

_______________________________

****

**_Rey_ **

****

His lips were just as velvety as they looked, was her first thought. His five o’clock shadow growing on his face – of course, it had been more than a day since he had any opportunity to shave – delicately scraped her skin in the best way possible.

He was waiting for her, silently but insistently, still hovering in her personal space.

Rey hesitated for a moment. This, all of this felt _so_ good. Too good. She could go sweet and pliant for him, bloom like a cactus after all. His attention, his sweet persistence… she was dying to taste his tongue.

_Parenthesis, remember. Parenthesis._

Tentatively, she pressed her lips to his again. He let her take the lead and did not press for more than that, still, she found herself chasing after the skin to skin contact, as his head fell back on the ground.

She parted her lips just enough to catch his lower lip between hers and glide her tongue against it. His now free left hand came up, cradling her head through the thick cap she had on and pulled her in for more.

His kiss was a slow burn, empathic but self-confident and soon she felt herself grow addicted to them. Those long fingers crept under her cap, the touch on the sensitive skin of her scalp sending frissons down her spine, awakening her recently quenched thirst.

A loud thunder made them jolt apart. Kylo’s eyes flew to the clouds, brows creased, but she couldn’t tear her gaze from his face –  even if the signs of exhaustion were clearly visible, he was so handsome it almost hurt. Every mole, every freckle fell perfectly into place under the dark lashes.

_How can you be so devastatingly good-looking?_

“We should grab the reindeer and head back,” he murmured when his attention returned to her.

Dazed, she could only nod in agreement.

________________________________

**_Ben_ **

****

He couldn’t help the gentle smile from spreading on his features. He loved to render her all speechless and flustered, pliant under his touch.

Kira seemed to be defenseless against his kindness and he fully intended to continue surprising her.

With one last, chaste kiss, he nudged her to stand up. She helped him scramble up from the ground and handed him back his gun, looking at him with wide eyes. Ben could see she was begging for more on some elemental level, but he decided against another round of kissing and gently run his gloved finger along her cheek to let her know that he would tend to her needs.

_Later. In the cabin. When we are safe. You would get anything you want, if you let me._

“We need to move, Kira,” he murmured apologetically as reminder of their reality.

“Okay. Okay.”

The thunder above their head roared insistently, thus there was not much time until another hefty blizzard would come their way. He started walking and Kira also moved.

The cracking of the snow under their feet and the sounds of the approaching storm were the only sounds around them. The wind picked up again, whipping the snow into their face like needle bites. After a few minutes, they reached the reindeer. The animal was lying gracefully on its side, its head propped up by its antlers. Maybe he could prepare them and hang them in the bedroom, he wondered.

After dragging the huge body back to the cabin just before the storm picked up again, Ben started butchering the animal, while Kira looked for a place to store the rest.

With one hand, everything was harder to do – but his memories were the ones which disturbed him the most. He could see the ghost of his father’s hands in his motions, hear his careful instructions, the reverence in his voice towards the animal.

_If only he could have had the same respect for me,_ he fumed again. But there was no use in being angry at a dead man, who pushed him off his academic career right into this secret agent profession by telling him that reading books and creating publications were not a job for a man.

At least, the skills he taught him finally came handy, and his path crossed Kira’s on this godforsaken planet.

Kira…

The feeling of her soft lips against his, her glowing face, the hesitant kiss she gave him and those who betrayed a passion underneath the composed outer layers… he was crazy about her. _Entranced_.

Could he hope that she had a least a fraction of this interest in him? Or would he just be the mean to scratch an itch?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you deedreamer for beating, and Trueffle123 for sanity-reading. 
> 
> Trueffle's contribution to this fic: "If you want to kill me, at least don't use bad puns." :D I fucking love you, gurl. :D
> 
> [I found the purrrfect song for this fic](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35mu4mk1RqM)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Too deep, too deep to get outta here  
> House burnt down, burnt down to the fucking ground  
> I don't even care now if I make it out  
> Can't get out my head, it's the atmosphere  
> Colours change, blue grass like the Lumineers  
> I'm too deep, too deep to get outta here

**__ **

**_Rey_ **

 

He was back to business the whole time since they broke away from each other. From a few, fleeting gestures, she did understand though that the kiss had affected him very much.

As chaste and innocent is was (for the better part), it left her wanting more.

Kylo didn’t really speak, but his hands seemed to seek her out every occasion there was, leaving a pleasant tingle in their wake. She smiled to herself every time this happened, eager to return the careful approaching herself - she hoped he could understand how much she wanted him to repeat that kiss, to sweep her off her feet and get tangled in those sheets… 

But somehow, her words also left her.

His tenderness was disorienting.

It made her imagine _things_ with him - things she never knew she wanted. Or was it this cabin? These mundane tasks she never could do, never could share with anyone made her zone out at times, thinking how nice it would be just to run away with him and get to know each other. To make home for themselves and be there for each other. In good times, in bad…

She shook her head. Rey never thought of herself as delusional, standing with both feet on the ground, living for the moment, because there was no certainty about tomorrow. Yet here she went, imagining _things_.

When sometime later he stepped into the kitchen, bearing a big portion of freshly cut, perfectly marbled meat, her weak heart fluttered. She realized she missed him. He had been away only for an hour or so, right outside. How could she _miss_ him?

“I guess Santa has to tow his sleigh himself this year,” she tried to deadpan, hoping to shoo away her tender feelings.

“You know he has seven more left, right?”

“What if you killed Rudolf?” she gasped in theatrical shock.

Kylo set the bowl on the counter, turning to her.“I hope not, I don’t want this meat to be radioactive,” he murmured.

Rey blinked, not understanding.

“Because his nose glows red?” Kylo explained, tapping his prominent one for demonstration.

With a delay, she chuckled, watching as Kylo pulled out pans from the cabinet.

_____________________________

 

**_Ben_ **

****

The pantry clattered loudly, but Ben still could hear her question.

“How did you learn to hunt?”

The familiar knot in his stomach returned, and he took good care to keep his eyes fixed onto the knife slicing the meager resources of herbs on a cutbord.

“From my father,” he said as evenly as possible. “We used to own a cabin like this in Canada. When I was a child, we used to go there frequently. Then, after a time, only my father went. It was another excuse he could get to get away from us, I guess. Sometimes, he would drag me along though and then we would go hunting. You know, doing _manly_ things.”

He knew he sounded bitter. But he didn’t fucking care. This mission turned into the worst and the best kind of roller coaster there was and Ben simply didn’t have the energy to fight these thoughts which haunted him every step of the way. Han Solo was _everywhere._ He hated him so viciously for so many things. But mainly for turning out to be right.

Statesman didn’t teach him to do these things he did to take care of themselves. Han Solo did.

The next thing he felt was how Kira ran a hand over his tense back soothingly, while she closed the other atop his right positioned over the knife. The tightness in his muscles dissipated to a bearable extent, especially evident as she very carefully stroked her fingers up his spine, to his neck, then back down. As his grip loosened on the cutting tool, Kira managed to slip her hand under his, coaxing it from him.

“I’ll take it from here,” she murmured so close to his ear that he could feel her hot breath fan his earshell. He turned his head to look into her eyes. How was it possible that Han had to turn up in his head every time there was something possibly lethal in his hands? His terrible timing extended even to after his death.

For the second time that day, Kira demonstrated how flawlessly she could read him, how wonderfully understanding she could be.

_How deeply she cared,_ a dangerous voice whispered on the back of his mind.

The kiss he pressed to her mouth was inelegant first. Adjusting his angle, he turned and leaned Kira gently against the counter, absentmindedly pushing away the utensils to make room for her.

His left hand came around her waist, pressing her flush against him and she arched her back deeply.

_____________________

 

**_Rey_ **

****

The splint was uncomfortable as it prodded into her back. But she didn’t mind, finding it a great excuse to mold herself against his strong body, hunger and all forgotten.

Well.

She was very aware of a _different_ kind of hunger now that Kylo pried her lips open with sweet kisses, his good hand holding her head delicately. The way her whole _scalp_ fitted into his obscenely huge hands shouldn’t have been such a turn-on. But it was.

Her ass crept further up onto the countertop as she started to get comfortable, diving deeper and deeper into his mouth, rolling her tongue against his, one hand fisting the shirt on his back and in the other tangled in his hair.

He was a tree and she was  ivy -- drinking up every drop of him she could, winding around him with every limb she had. _Climbing_ just wouldn’t simply do this time. She wanted to co-exist with him, cover him and bloom on the soil of his kindness.

What started out as a thank you soon turned into a helpless grinding as Rey rolled her hips against the front of his pants, feeling the hardness underneath the winter layers.

His hands were suddenly _everywhere._ Which made her feel like maybe _she_ was the tree and _he_ the ivy. he way he dug his fingers into her shirt with one hand and kneaded her breast with the other was sinfully arousing.

Caving under his pressure, she tilted her body back, her strong abdomen flexing, her hand reaching behind her to find purchase, because she could picture being _fucked_ on this tiny little kitchen counter so vividly she almost felt the stretch of his cock insi --

“ _Fuck_!” she cried out, stinging pain shooting through her as she burnt her hand somewhat on the stove.

Kylo broke away, and while she inspected the red mark on the outside of her palm, without missing a beat, went out and scooped up snow into a bowl.

“Here,” he said, taking her hand and quickly pushing it into the coldness.

Rey hissed, staring at his fingers around her wrist. They could almost go around it twice. _Jesus_.

“We match,” he remarked then on the edge of playful and serious.

“We do,” she answered serenely, tipping it over to the side of meaning exactly _that._

A few beats of silence followed. Then, mellowly, he pressed his lips to her forehead in a wordless confession.

Rey would have bet that this bunch of snow would not have been able to hold a candle to the speed with which she melted to a puddle at his touch. And, okay, now she wanted to cry.

This was too much too soon, yet, she didn’t want it to stop. Obliging the pull, she let her forehead lean against his chest. Breathing in his scent, laced with the reminder of everything that had happened between them over the past two days, a whiff of the melting snow, the lingering smell of fire and the tart smoke.

He let his chin rest on the top of her head, his hand on her back, holding her protectively, comfortingly.

_God_ , she wanted him. All of him.

_Please, just stay. Stay with me, let me go_ weak _at the knees, let me be fragile for you. Your little dove._

When the snow in the bowl turned more into water than not and the burn on her hand subsided, she moved.

_______________________

 

**_Ben_ **

Not a second earlier than she wanted it, he released her.

His eyes sought out hers. Their openness surprised him -- something seemed to have changed in those last minutes in her. They were glazed, sparkling in the low light of the fire.

“Let me make dinner for you,” he murmured.

Kira shook her head. “Let me help. We can make a pair,” she suggested, reaching with her uninjured hand to hold his. She moved with shaky determination as she latched onto his hand, suddenly afraid that her resolve would waver and leave her hanging.

She kept staring at their intertwined hands.

Ben could only look at her.

Firelight tinged the room red, anyway, and Ben couldn’t ,  judge whether the color on her cheeks was a fierce blush or just the reflection of the flames.

“I’d like that,” he murmured, squeezing her hand. Now, there was no doubt that she was self-conscious, biting her lip, trying to stop the smile from spreading.

She was somewhat embarrassed. But very, very happy.

*

The challenge turned out to be quite relaxing.

Kira quickly confessed to having no idea about the preparation of reindeer meat, so she resigned herself to following his instructions about cooking time, diligently holding the handle of the pan or seasoning it as he required. They kept exchanging a few, shy glances, not even trying to suppress the smile that followed.

_What’s happening to me?_ Ben wondered.

_You’re falling in love. Hard. That’s what, kid. Duh,_ supplied his inner voice that sounded suspiciously like his father.

Finally, they settled at the table, their plates laden with the steaming food, the fire crackling in the stove, painting the darkened room in orange-gold. They found some potatoes and a bottle of clear looking alcohol and after a hasty _bon apétit,_ they dived in, devouring the first filling meal in two days.

She moaned a little when the tender liver melted on her tongue and he hummed appreciatively. She smiled at him.

“You must have been starving,” she remarked.

“Uhm-mm,” he replied, his mouth too stuffed to form words.

_You have no idea, little snow leopard._

After  the edge of their hunger had been taken away, Ben reached for the bottle of -- what appeared to be -- a home brew vodka and inspected it thoroughly.

“Is it wise to drink this?” he questioned after sniffing it. “We could die from this stuff, you know.”

“Everybody already thinks we are dead,” Kira shrugged between two bites.

He didn’t answer to that but the words set him to thinking. Pulling the glass, he poured her two fingers’ worth into the shot glass.

She took it, lifting it to toast.

“To survival,” Ben said and she her glass clinqued to his.

“Amen to that.”

They kicked back the drink. Kira grimaced at the burn of it, and he spurted but the taste… it was actually excellent. The drink seemed to go straight into his head, already feeling a bit less sharp.

****

His hands itched to be put where they belonged: on Kira. Their eyes met again - she licked her lips slowly in a nervous tic, her attention zeroed in on him.

The air seemed to be hot all at once. Had he not  been so hungry, he would have pulled her out of that seat, tossed her back on that kitchen cabinet where they kissed half an hour ago and fucked her silly.

But he needed the energy to do that, too, so he gormandized, not daring to look up until his plate was completely empty and his stomach full near the point of bursting after hungering for so long.

__________________

 

**_Rey_ **

****

There was a determination about the way he ate. Rey, on the other hand, almost had to force down the bites. The steak was excellent, juicy and tender, but she was impatient and nervous about the determined outcome they both tried to politely dance around.

Still, she cleared her plate, too, and laid her cutlery neatly in parallel lines.

Kylo poured them another portion of the vodka and they drank up wordlessly.

Now that every excuse not to proceed had been exhausted, Rey’s heart hammered with anticipation. Should she make the move, or let him do it?

Fuck it. She wasn’t a sunflower, hopelessly cursed to turn and receive the attention at the mercy of the sun.

“Do you want to take a bath with me?”

Kylo’s eyes seemed to turn into a black holes at that. “Yes, please.”

The way he said it… that dark, unfathomable desire dripping from his voice made her shiver. Rey was hit by the realisation - again - how little she knew about him as she faced this completely new side of him. As if this Kylo would not be the same who sweetly kissed her outside in the snow, delivered mediocre puns and pleaded gently with her.

But oh, she didn’t mind if he were to turn out to be someone who took what he wanted.

Her British heart sang at his excellent manners, apparently approving her body’s plans.

Their chairs  scraped loudly along the hardwood floor when they pushed  away from the table in unison.

His hand reached for hers and she leaned into him as they met in a burning kiss, dirty table all forgotten. The intensity was almost frightening - the way he held her tightly against his body, clutching onto her like lifeline, the strength in his kisses, in the bites he trailed down her throat…

She dug her fingers into his muscles, feeling them flex around her. Rey gasped, tilting her head to grant him better access to her body. Without her permission, her hands roamed on his torso in an impossible endeavor to map all of it. Finally, her right slid down between them, palming him through his pants, feeling the outline of his hardening cock through the clothes.

“Fuck, Kira,” he growled, while  maneuvering her backwards until she was neatly pinned against some hard surface under the safe weight of his body.

He kissed her like there was no tomorrow, like a wolf devouring a tender lamb and her hips rocked into his, chasing to alleviate the burn in her center. Just like before, his huge hands trekked the mountains and valleys of her body, palming her ass, her thighs, her breasts with wantonness.

Rey wondered briefly if it was humanly possible to come just from this, just from feeling the pressure of his erection on her stomach, so close, yet so far from where she needed it, while this mountain of a man absolutely ravished her.

*

 

Ben didn’t know that he could be like this. Sure, he was desired by women. He desired women.

But Kira turned him into a hungry beast.

The only excuse he could find for leaving hickies along her windpipe five minutes into their first, real, honest-to-god bodily contact was the way Kira softly whimpered in his arms.

Her lovely tits pressed against his chest and her capable hands trailed under his shirt, tracing every inch frantically. She wasn’t shy expressing what she wanted, tearing on his hair so she could kiss him better.

She _was_ kissing him better. Ben was certain that she could kiss and make his broken arm all better.

He ached to see her naked, to inspect every little mole on her body, every little hidden spot that made her gasp and writhe.

That particular train of thought lead him to realize that they needed to _make_ a bath first in order to be able to take it, which momentarily tore through the thick fog of pleasure.

“Kira, sw--”

_I’m not your sweetheart!_

“ -- baby...”

(he quickly kissed her deeply again to make her forget his almost-slip)

“...we need to make that bath first.”

“What?” she asked, pulling him back down, now making him bend to mouth at his neck.

“The bath, --- oh _God,”_ he hissed as she palmed him again, silencing him with a sound kiss. Reluctantly, he tried to pull back.

“We need to…” but Kira apparently had other ideas, cutting him off by upping the pressure on his shaft. “ _Jesus, Kira!”_ Ben moaned and then gently, but firmly danced until her hands couldn’t reach him. Panting, he looked into her dozed eyes.

“We need to make that bath first.”

Her mood fell through the floor.

“Why does life have to be so hard?!” Kira groaned and tucked her face into his chest, trying to escape reality.

“If we make it out of here alive and if you allow me, I’ll take you somewhere nice where all you’ll have to do is ring a bell and everything will be served to you,” Ben promised.

“Those are an awful lot of assumptions,” Kira grumbled, “but I’ll still hold you to it.”

“Okay,” he chuckled.

His sweet girl actually pressed a kiss to the junction of his jaw and neck before declaring herself ready for the task. Ben had other things on his mind.

As long as Kira took care of their bath, he pulled the bed into the kitchen too, as close to the fire as was  safe, piling up the blankets and their winter gear.

His girl would not be cold under his watch. Well. As much as he could help it. Throwing the logs he cut earlier that day on the fire, he cranked up the heat of the stove as much as it was possible.

Soon, Kira came back to the room, stepping to him and intertwined their uninjured hands while he inspected the flames.

“This was a great idea, Kylo,” she praised, practically purring the words. Ben felt her tug him up and closer to her, and soon her hands slid into his hair, her tongue into his mouth.

*

His legs swayed and, Rey, clinging on him, pulled him backwards towards the bathroom, away from the stove. The quick change of his reactions could have been unsettling, yet Rey found it endearing and exciting. Kylo seemed to limbo between goofy and cocksure and she couldn’t decide what she would have liked to see more in bed.

The effect of his kisses was consistent, however, and forming a maddening mixture with the vodka, Rey found herself getting bold.

“The water is ready, and so am I,” she whispered into his ear, her fingers cupping his face.

“You minx,” he admonished her without meaning it, his deep baritone washing over her with a heat of a sauna, making her skin prickle. A soft chuckle was her response, her body already taking over control, chasing her needs as she all but dragged him with her into the bathroom in a hurry.

They bounced on and off the walls like balls, lips never truly breaking away from each other, making a competition of knocking out the air of the other’s longues by fierce slams and deep kisses. She felt herself become giddy; she chortled, and he cackled until the room opened to them, the bath ready and waiting.

They paused for a moment, staring at the barrel. Kylo looked at her, searching for confirmation.

_Always so thoughtful. Such a thoughtful beast._

Instead of answering, she wordlessly pulled him inside, closing the door. Kylo stayed right where she put him, unmoving. Seizing the moment, she stepped back with a playful smirk on her lips.

He understood she was up to something.

Pulling her hair from the tight band, she let it fall sensually on her shoulders, while her hand trailed to the button of her blazer, undoing it and letting it slide into her hands.

His charcoal eyes never missed the tiniest movement, watching her with the rapt attention of a hawk, as he remained rooted on the spot. The self control was striking, especially as Rey knew how ravenous he could be. Yet, again, he let her do everything at her heart’s content, even if it was killing him a little.

Slowly, one button at a time, Rey undid her chemise, holding his gaze so it wouldn’t flit down. She even unbuttoned her cuffs and then, when no more obstacles could be found, slowly took her shirt off, leaving her in her nude balconette bra. Then, he couldn’t deny himself looking at her body any longer.

There was a sharp intake of breath, and a shaky exhale. She watched his jaw clench and she knew it took effort required to let her tease him.

The power she held over him made her head spin.

Turning around, she pushed her trousers down, arching her back. It didn’t matter that for a solid two days she had been wearing the same clothes or that they were probably reeking of smoke. Not even a Queen could feel as much adoration as she felt purring from Kylo..

It wasn’t fair; no one should have a power like this over another person.

But why did it feel so right?

*

 

“Fuck,” he breathed, watching her unclothe her perfectly round, firm ass. The reality was better than his imagination every could be. The blood in his body decided to rush south at an alarming pace. And now, she bent deep, _deeper,_ loosening the laces of her shoes. He could practically see the outline of her cunt in the sheer little fabric that supposedly served as underwear.

_Had she been wearing this all along?? Good grace!_

He lifted his fist, biting softly into his pointer finger to center himself. His self-preservation was wearing thin at this peep show. He was going to make her come so hard her head would spin.

The little cocktease.

She turned around, actually having the audacity to give him a cocky little grin.

“Seeing something you like?”

Several replies died in his throat.

_Yes._

_Shut up and strip. You don’t want me to finish it for you._

_Please, let me touch you._

The paralysis of the decision reduced him to a soft growl.

His attention followed her hands as she reached behind her back to release the fastening of her lingerie. Every second felt like a lifetime until her pert little tits were bared to him for the first time, the nipples hard against the cool air, goosebumps covering the lovely heaps.

“Oh my God,” he whimpered, his hand still stuffed between his teeth.

Kira shivered.

_Fuck_. How could he have gotten so carried away (how not?? this goddess stripping for him!) that he hadn’t noticed that she was freezing?

“Take off your panties and get in the water,” he ordered her firmly but unhurried, his voice low and husky.

Time was up. It was his turn.

She made him taste his own medicine as she did as she was told. The matching, nude silky underwear found its place on the heap of her other clothes when she straightened, turning around at a languid pace. He could see _all_ of her now: her taut abdomen, the creamy skin and below, her smooth, bare pussy.

Kylo briefly wondered if this little detail was mission-related or just part of her overall flawless, put-together persona, but the thinking part of his brain was quickly powered down by the sudden blood loss in favor of his dick.

Making a show of it, Kira turned around to climb into the barrel. She reached for her elastics again to roll her hair into a bun with practiced motions. Her muscles flexed - her toned arms and the pillars of her spine became visible. She was perfection.

Then, lifting one leg at a time, she carefully eased herself into the scalding water, inch by inch like a siren, hiding her body from his view.

Ben didn’t know how to explain this phenomenon. Kira was self-confident like no other woman he had ever met. There was a good deal of street smarts shining through her, tapping into instincts when it came to seduction. Nothing like the refined, almost calculated dances of the princesses he knew.

She knew what made him lose his mind and didn’t waste time going for it.

But there were still things in store for her.

“Don’t you wanna join me?” she asked, voice coy and sweet.

“Need to get these clothes off first,” he replied nonchalantly when in reality he was anything but. The effect she had on him put the bar so high, he felt like his old, dorky fifteen year old self again, although he’d long ago grown into his inherited swagger. The fact that his cock was already rock hard didn’t really help his embarrassment, either.

As he reached for the hem of his shirt, he caught a flash of her face: open eyes glinting with anticipation, her pink tongue darting to wet her teeth for a fraction of a second.

It wasn’t exactly fair; Kira knew precisely what was hidden beneath his winter layers. And Ben knew for a fact how much that affected her.

In a swift motion, he ripped the garments off his upper body, baring himself to the cold air and her gaze.

*

Rey floated closer to the edge of the tub, entranced. It was time to throw pretense out the window. With spiking anticipation, she watched his hands make quick work of his shoes, then pants too.

When he straightened, Rey fought to look into his eyes instead of… well…

_There._

But her heart wasn’t in that fight, and she was grateful having lost it willingly. Her jaw went slack at what goodness was waiting for her. Kylo was… proportionate... in _every_ sense of the way. The heavy weight of his most precious part easily defied gravity, curling to his chiseled abdomen. Her strip-tease appeared to have been successful.

_Oh God, I’m gonna be so sore._

“See something you like?” he teased, tone laced with no small amount of pride and smugness.

Rey finally found the willpower to tear away her hungry gaze from where it seemed to be drawn like by a magnet.

“Get in here, Kylo,” she heard herself say.

_So needy. So impatient. What’s wrong with you, Niima?_

“At your command,” Kylo replied, amused.

Floating away to give him some space in the gigantic tub, Rey’s eyes followed him as he immersed himself too, drinking up the view as long as she could. Now at eye-level with him, Rey drifted closer, letting him cradle her face and pull her in for a languid, but insistent kiss.

Another minute after their lips met again, she found herself already straddling him, bucking her hips against his cock to find some release for the fire in her belly.

Kylo chuckled softly, immensely satisfied with her impatience.

“Look who’s needy,” he huffed, his hands finding their way lower to palm her ass. Underwater, everything seemed more heightened, a warm blur of emotions, like the water was an extension of Kylo’s touch, enveloping her in a heady pleasure.

“Turn around, baby, relax,” he murmured and gently spun her around to make her recline against his torso. She unwound between his legs, his arms coming down around her, too.

_Safe, safe, you’re so safe with him,_ her reptile brain croaked. 

Wiggling her ass against his erection, reveling in the knowledge that he was hard for _her_ and she didn’t even touch him yet, she spurred him to continue exploring her.

He pressed a soft, lingering kiss on her temple, then another on her hairline, while his gigantic hands closed around a handful of her breasts, kneading them confidently in a sharp contrast to his butterfly-kisses. When he rolled a nipple between his thumb and pointer finger, lightly pinching it, Rey arched into him, throwing her head back. Her hands gripped his calf with slightly more purpose.

“That’s it, baby, show me what you like,” he crooned.

But it seemed like he already was reading her mind. Because that other paw of his crept lower down her abdomen. Rey didn’t miss how his hand slightly trembled from tension, and now his mouth was on her neck, biting on her pulse-point.

“Bloody hell,” she cursed softly  in satisfaction, canting her hips again.

“Do you need something, Kira?”

She shook her head weakly. “No. Do what you want. Just don’t stop. Please.”

“Not planning to,” Kylo pointed out.

The trajectory of his fingers changed and the other hand chimed in, caressing her everywhere but where she felt the tension concentrate. The build-up was maddening. With a slight shift in her position, Rey rearranged herself so she could close her hand around his erection.

At that, his hands stuttered.

“Kira…”

Her fingers barely spanned its girth, and, giving the soft skin on the steely member an experimental, careful pump, she got herself acquainted with his cock.

“Fhhh…” the word died on his tongue when she oh-so-gently pulled the skin back, and finally, his finger slid on her clit, beginning a slow circle. The sigh that his ministrations elicited from her was entire too content, but Rey was beyond blushing anymore.

This man was driving her insane and if he would not soon give her what she needed, Rey was resolved to simply take it.

Another downward stroke on his shaft, this time with a small twist and Kylo bucked into her hand, while his other hand joined the one already teasing her. She heard his breath become more laboured about the same time as she began to gulp air in shallow intakes. He made her spread her legs wider, running his fingers along her opening.

Her grip tightened around him and he hissed as he slid a finger inside her, the other hand still concentrated on the swollen nub at the apex of her labia.

“Kira, Jesus, don’t make me come in this tub for the second time today,” he growled, while his thick and long finger parted her for him.

It was hard to process the cryptic tidbit of information like this -- just as in the kitchen earlier, he seemed to be everywhere around her, no part left unattended to.

Yet, she knew instinctively what that meant. That he had been doing in the tub the same thing _she_ had been doing in the bed… that they’d both been secretly hoping for the same thing.

“Did you think about me, while you made yourself come?” she breathed, her voice trailing up high when his finger brushed against the particularly sensitive spot in her, her hand momentarily halting on his shaft as the imperative power of her own pleasure required all her attention.

Before Kylo answered, he slid another finger into her pussy, waiting until she adjusted around the girth.

“Yes,” Kylo confessed.

Her treacherous cunt fluttered around his hand, and he pushed in deeper, harder.

“You like it, don’t you? Knowing I jerked off thinking about you, here in this tub,” he crooned and picked up the speed of his hands. His fingers kept sliding in and out of her, working against the walls of her cunt and - instead of answering - she whimpered. The water danced around them, waves forming as their bodies moved.

Still holding onto his cock, she tried to resume her ministrations, but he was too distracting and too determined. The rhythm was perfect: every turn on her raw bundle of nerves punctuated with the perfect pressure inside…

“Oh fhh-uck,” she sobbed.

The warm water amplified all the sensations, even the rigidness of his muscles around her was a turn-on. Her eyes slid closed, her hand forgotten on his shaft and the other helplessly gripping his knee for support.

She felt called out: this position was so eerily similar to that in which she brought herself to release thinking of him. Only so much better than her own hands, the unexpected movements bringing her higher, faster than she ever could; those manly, thick fingers reaching deeper her own ever could.

“You can… you can make me… make me come in the bed again, though,” she panted and felt as Kylo pulled her closer, molding himself around her even tighter.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Are we committed? No  
> Are you really here to ride or die?  
> Ain't no way we coming out alive  
> Is this what you want?  
> Now for the moment, woah  
> Why are we reckless when we care so much?  
> We never plan to get our hearts involved  
> I just hope that we ready if we fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trueffle told me this had abo vibes... sorry?

 

“You can… you can make me… make me come in the bed again, though,” Rey panted and felt as Kylo pulled her closer, molding himself around her even tighter.

His hands stilled abruptly and Rey rocked her hips impatiently, with a small, protesting whine.

At a slow pace, he continued again.

“Say that again, my little snow leopard -- did you touch yourself today, thinking of me?”

“Snow leopard?” she huffed amusedly, surprised by the unusual pet name.

Kylo apparently didn’t like to be questioned, because he carefully stuffed another, third finger into her, stretching her, which stole her breath.

“I’ve been calling you that in my head for a while now. My fierce,” a prod against her g-spot, a loud whine from her, “deadly,” _prod,_ “ maddeningly hot,” _prod, prod,_ “girl.”

Then, he stopped fooling around, picking up pace and precision, not letting her climb get interrupted anymore. She dug her nails into his thigh, keeping herself afloat while her moans filled the room, louder and louder as the sweet spring coiled in the base of her spine, spreading out into her toes and arms, creeping to the center of her body.

“That’s it, scream, baby, no one can hear us, be loud for me,” he spurred her on, while panting into her ear from the effort of his ministrations.

The unabashed words made her orgasm approach even faster. 

“Oh God, Kylo, I’m…”

“Come, Kira, come for me, let me hear you,” he urged her and she fell apart with a last rub, and a sweet press in her cunt, letting her voice get loud and clear, screaming her pleasure into the coldness. Her vision whited out like the landscape around their cabin, his touch and fingers fucking through her the high anchoring her lest she flew away.

*

Her breath formed faint clouds in the chilly temperature and Ben was gone for this woman. Her body writhed in his arms, her pussy bucking onto his fingers as she rode the waves of her orgams, moaning for him.

It was a borderline religious experience to finally find out what kind of sounds she made when she came.

His erection was almost painful now, but he didn’t mind as long as Kira was sated and satisfied. Carefully, he withdrew his hands, running them along her body, up and down, soothing her through her afterglow, pressing kisses the crown of her head. Then, as she came back to herself, he made her crane her neck to kiss her square on the mouth.

“Did you come like this, when you were touching yourself?” he whispered.

“Uh-uh,” Kira shook her head, humming weakly and happily, tilting her head to emphasise how much she did _not_ come like this. Her hands traced his body, his legs and then intertwined her fingers with his, lifting is to her lips to press a kiss on them.

“Good.”

“Don’t be so smug about it, Spirit,” she warned without real intent.

Kylo froze. 

“Spirit? Am I a _horse_ in your head?!” he asked, incredulously.

“Talk about pet names…” Kira said, and turned around, “I think you _are_ a stallion.”

She kissed him, playfully, letting her hand run along his cock.

“I’m afraid to ask why,” he breathed, as she closed her fingers around him, starting to pump his shaft with intention.

His eyes slid closed, succumbing to her powers, and all he could do was to palm her ass and let her kiss him on his face, then jaw, then nip at his neck.

“You are kind, and tame with me, but fierce otherwise,” she whispered into his ear, while running her thumb across the fat head of his cock, and his knees trembled, “you are… big… and powerful… and…” then, without preamble, he felt her shift closer, positioning herself directly above his girth.

His eyes flew open in surprise.

The sight made her jaw fall slack in awe. Kira was looking down on him, glowing like fire, cheeks rosy from the orgasm he gave her, hair curly from the steam around her face, her hazel-green eyes blown wide above a faint, anticipating smirk. A goddess could not have been more beautiful.

Some questions were not needed to be asked. Every agent - even the males - were on birth control and tested regularly. He knew that. Still, he felt the need to ask for her confirmation whether she really wanted to do this like this, without the barrier of a condom. And more importantly, he had to protect her from catching a cold, which she would get if she were to --- Lord Jesus --- _ride_ him, with her back out of the water.

“Relax,” she murmured, “I can see your mind racing.”

“A racing horse,” he joked, but his brain short circuited when Kira lowered herself slowly onto him.

Her face scrunched up in a mixture of awe, pleasure and pain. Just as he told her a few moments ago, this girl was fierce, powering through the momentary pain until she was fully seated on his cock.

“Kira, fuck, you are… gosh… so tight, oh fuck, baby,” he rambled, kissing her reverently with urgency, covering her back with his hands as much as he could to warm her. He was shocked to find that this wasn’t that hard at all. She felt tiny compared to him, a precious porcelaine.

“You fill me so good, Kylo, you have no idea,” she breathed. “I can feel you in my womb, I swear.”

“Fuck,” he cursed, biting her neck as he strained to keep still, not wanting to hurt her before her cunt could have adjusted. In an effort to help her in this process, his left hand ducked under the water, finding the sweet junction of her nether lips, now parted around his shaft and, and pulling up the hood of her clit, began to softly roll the pearl under his thumb again.

Her walls clamped around him hard, their moans merging in a perfectly harmonised chorus. Leaning onto him, she grabbed his mane for purchase, the slight discomfort framing his pleasure.

“How are you so good at this,” Kira panted, and he could practically hear in her tone how her brows furrowed, trying to concentrate on solving this puzzle through the haze of her bliss, “how can you know so well what I need?”

“I was wondering about the same with you,” he murmured, “you read me so well. You always know exactly what I need.”

She began to rock her hips then, the tiniest motion, back and forth, her cunt fluttering around his length as he continued teasing her. Tilting his head back, she kissed him, deep, with want and urgency, taking what she needed, what she wanted and he was happy to give it to her. A few moments later, it turned out that the was only the beginning of the storm.

Kira lifted herself, inch by inch, and then back, leaving him further and further, until she let him slide out almost completely. The water splashed all around the room as the siren of his dreams claimed him. Not being able to restrain himself any longer, he met her thrust for thrust, pushing in as deep as it went, growling at the sensation.

He held her by her waist, one hand kneading a breast with desperation as the fog descended on his mind.

In her haze, her head fell forward, brows creased, mouth parted, forming various shapes of an O, small whines and louder alternating, depending on which spot he hit in her tight little pussy.

He should not have worried about her being cold; he could feel her skin heat up with the effort to fuck herself properly on him, working against the resistance of the water and, at the same time, his length. Her hands clawed into the meat of his shoulders, arms flexing, as he sped up his thumbing of  her clit and fucked up into her harder and deeper.

She was trying but it just wasn’t enough, while his own release was rapidly approaching.

“Kylo…” she pleaded.

“Hold on tight, baby,” he growled and with and almost impossible feat, started to rise from the water with her still pinned on him. A month come too close to the light and now pierced on a needle, at his pleasure to view.

She yelped, limbs tightening on his body, sailing ropes on the harbor.

He set her down on the edge of the tub, back leaning against the wood of the wall.

“What about catching a cold?“ she panted.

“I'll have to be quick then,” he quipped.

He thrust into her once, stealing her breath and rocked his hips until he found the angle which made her almost _meowl._ Then his thumb found its way back to the little nub hidden between her folds and began to rub it.

“Oh, Jesus, Kylo, oh, don't st--stop,” she moaned. He didn't know how he still could manage to form a snarky reply, but he still did.

“Wasn't planning to.”

Her retort died in her throat the next moment Ben managed to hit that spot in her with the right amount of pressure, with the right timing and she came, her face glowing with the intensity of it, head thrown back, lips wide open, her scream a visible speech bubble of fog in the air.

Gods, she was _breathtaking_ , coming him, a diamond unearthed.

A jackpot.

He kept fucking her through it, and she dug her nails into his bicep so much it hurt, making it all the more sweeter and - admittedly - helping him to withhold his own climax for just a tad longer.

When she was done, her cries reduced to a rapid whisper of _oh God, oh God,_ he kissed her forehead reverently and quite _pleased_ with himself.

Her diffused gaze found his eyes, a glossy mirror of her soul. He could see through that keyhole into her for a fraction of a second, when time froze and the dimensions opened; seeing the whirlwind inside, the excitement blooming that _yes_ , indeed, this was something more than just scratching an itch, more than just - - -

“Come inside me.”

*

She didn't want to put him in the position to be forced to ask. She knew he would. Despite being American, his manners were British enough and he was soft and warm in his heart. Rey knew he would.

Hell, he would _kill_ for her.

The way his eyes widened at her request confirmed her suspicion.

She felt an urge to take home something with her, a small part of him when this would all be over and nothing but an afterthought, when he would leave her, inevitably. There was a study playing on her mind on loop, which showed that women had the DNA traces of their male sex partners in their bodies for the rest of their lives. And, pathetic or not, she wanted that.

She wanted to feel him fill her up, she wanted to feel the fullness in her cunt when he would do so.

Kylo opened his mouth to ask her for confirmation, but she cut him off impatiently.

“Do it, Kylo.”

He kissed her then, a grateful, breathless, possessive swipe of his tongue against hers. His hips began to rock, then slammed into her, making her whole body jolt, chafing against the coarse surface of the wood.

She didn't mind the friction, she didn't mind the pain, because watching the animal shine through in him was a reward entirely for her. _Due_ to her.

He didn't take long after that, the vicious thrusts bringing him swiftly to his own release, and he spilled himself into her with a low grunt, his face hidden in the crook of her neck, the hot puffs of air tickling her skin.

Instinctively, she tightened her arms on him, the ivy boring itself into the bark as she let him catch his breath for a few moments.

“Kira… fuck…” he whispered helplessly, so entirely in awe with her that her stupid heart, craving the company somersaulted excitedly.

_Him. Take him... he is the one._

“Kylo…” His name slipped from her lips for no reason - -  well, maybe because she wanted to call him by his name, to own him here in this little intermezzo of her life.

When he lifted his head, she kissed him demandingly, hands in his hair, legs tightly around his hips. The slide of their tongues grew frantic, chasing after something their bodies were not ready for again. But the heart wants what it wants.

Kylo huffed against her nips and assault, warm and kind. Rey knew she was pathetic, needy, wanting. He made her unfurl, he made her taste something she didn't know she wanted, a drug, the opium that he was.

 _I want you, I want you,_ her heart repeated.

“I told you I'm not letting you make me come in the bathtub again,” he murmured the joke, and she should have slapped him for being so complacent about this -- instead, she hummed approvingly, and kissed him more again.

She could feel him soften and he carefully, with a last peck on her lip, slipped out of her.

After she cleaned herself up (with his needless but sweet gestures to help her do that) they submerged in the warm water again, reveling in the afterglow and the slight burn of the water on their cold skin.

She was lying in his embrace again, just like it had started, but now mellow and dazed.

“Satisfied, my big cat?” he asked, lips pressing a kiss on the crown of her head.

“Mhmmm,” Rey hummed, his wandering hands making her melt.

“I think it’s time for a laundry day,” Kylo then ventured and she could already hear the mischief in his voice, “‘cause I don’t plan to leave the bed for the next two days.”

“I like the sound of that.” She smiled, lazily, petting him and snuggling him closer.

They sat there until the water turned lukewarm, exchanging touches instead of words. When the cold was returning to them, Kylo stirred, reaching for the rags they used as towels with his long, long hands.

A tree branch, really.

She let him rise from the water, admiring as the water cascaded down his body sculptured to efficiency - the wide shoulders, his strong abs and the cock and the thighs… the ass…

He quickly dried himself off, the turned around, towel spread.

“Come on, Kira, let’s wrap this up,” Kylo said with a boyish grin.

“Oh God, NO!! Kylo!! Why?!” she exclaimed the sudden pun but obeyed nonetheless. The rag came around her, shielding her from the cold and when she was about to step out of the tub, he bent his knees, circled her waist, and hoisted her up on his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

Rey squealed. In surprise and delight.

“Put me down, you caveman!” she demanded, giggling like a fool. All blood run to her head.

_Him. Take him. He is the one._

“Nuh-huh, I’m a stallion, remember?” he shot back, grunting from the effort.

Rey huffed, wiggling her ass.

His hand came down on her flesh. A sting but not too painful. Her cunt clenched around nothing, involuntarily, want beginning to pool in her belly again.

God, _who_ was this man?

“Stay still, baby, or you’ll fall,” Kylo warned.

“I’m a snow leopard. I never fall,” she grumbled, face hot, but obeyed.

In just a few steps, he stopped, bending again and gently releasing her on the feet. The wood was cold to her touch, but the stove’s heat was lapping on her skin as she looked up at him.

Kylo was magnificent.

There was no other word for it. His whiskey eyes traced her face, - not her body, she noted - searching for something, assessing her.

_He always makes sure I’m okay. He always does._

He must have found what he was looking for, because his hand reached out, fingers grasping the edge of her wet towel. She let him unwrap her, letting _him_ take the lead. She stood bare in front of him, his gaze leisurely lapping on her skin. He was so different again - dominating and calm.

Kylo stepped forward, crowding her. Through the thin layer of the towel, she felt that he was ready for more. _Stallion_ , she wanted to roll her eyes, but her brain was mush from the proximity. She backed instinctively and her ass bumped against a sharp surface. In her surprise, she barely registered when he put both rags on the furniture behind her.

“On the table, Kira,” he rumbled holding her gaze with his arresting stare. “Now it’s my turn to boss you around.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember Black Panther? "I never freeze" -- that's how I imagined Rey say she never falls. :D (but she totally does for this one man, right??)
> 
> How did you like it? Do you have favourite parts?
> 
> I still have planned a great deal of a smut-embedded-rollercoaster for this fic (I swear there is a HEA) - but I'm struggling a bit with finding the strength to write them... soo... if you happen to have a spare kudo or a one letter (emoji) comment please, leave it here. I'm going through a pretty tough phase IRL too where all my cheers gets burned up within a concentrated amount of time and this impedes my fic writing sadly. Hopefully will be over it soon! Cross your fingers for me. :D


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> when everything is said and done  
> the important things shine through

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hurts me the most when I wake  
> I fumble and twist, 'til the truth starts to click  
> There's so much space in this bed  
> These sheets go for miles: dreams of your smile  
> I don't wanna be just a memory  
> And I don't wanna feel your wings break free  
> Because without you I'm lost in the breeze  
> I gotta be strong now, I gotta show you how  
> I'll love you like I've never, ever loved somebody  
> I'll give you things you didn't even know you wanted  
> Don't tell me that it's not enough  
> My time is up, you're over us  
> 'Cause I think I might do anything for you  
> If you just let me
> 
> If You Let Me - Sinéad Harnett

Rey’s knees liquified at Kylo’s command. With slightly trembling fingers, she blindly reached behind her, tracing the rigid edges of the furniture they had just been eating on.

The limbo of control between them felt natural; two endpoints of a pendulum clock - him and her. The ball was currently falling back into Kylo’s court and Rey let it happen, just like he had let her take the lead back in the bath. She obediently pulled herself up onto the table, her eyes never leaving his.

Her heart was hammering in her chest - she was slightly sore and maybe not quite ready for this next round, but she also felt insatiable. After all, a Greek god was standing above her, the flickers of the smoldering fire painting his magnificent, marble-white body in gold. The only indication that he was real and alive was that his chest heaved with even breaths in a sharp contrast to her shaky ones.

Seeing that he was calm, she settled on the threadbare bedding, feeling the hard surface underneath her, and the pendulum tipped over to Kylo.

*

Ben could pinpoint the exact moment Kira surrendered to him. The way she sat up straighter, sending her her pert, round tits reaching for him. She proudly stretched to let him examine her again.

“Open your legs, Kira,” he murmured, his gaze falling lower to her strong abdomen. He could see the outline of her six-pack now. Kira was intimidatingly strong and that turned him on to a forbidden degree.

For a second, Ben doubted that Kira would do as he told her - but she did. Achingly slowly, carefully, as if testing the dimensions of the surface she had to move on.

He stared at the sight opening up in front of him without an ounce of shame. The blood rushed to his cock, reaching for the void it was supposed to fill.

As he glanced up, Kira’s daring gaze greeted him - though her blushing cheeks gave away her slight mortification.

Stepping closer, he planted his good hand on her thigh, squeezing the hard sinews of her muscles while he kissed her. She flinched under the pressure of his fingers, but didn’t pull away. Ben took his sweet time running his tongue along hers, then proceeded to bite along her her jaw and neck. She shivered.

“I thought you wanted to boss me around,” she murmured.

“Shut up.”

*

Rey huffed amusedly and swallowed a retort. His lips were a distraction, leaving her tingling wherever they touched her.

Still, it was impossible not to notice that this tree of a man sank to his knees in front of her. With a rough pull on her knee, he jerked her body forward.

She yelped. Half of her ass was hanging in the air, precariously balancing on the edge of the table, her legs dangling in the air, her only purchase Kylo’s hold.

“I thought you’d never fall,” Kylo teased, while he kissed a wet stripe on the inside of her thigh up to her centre.

“You wouldn't let me,” she breathed smugly. Then after a beat, more insecure: “Would you?“

The second the words left her mouth Rey cursed herself, wanting to take it all back. They slipped her lips in her daze. Now Kylo got another glimpse of the little girl in the outskirts of London still living inside of her - afraid of getting too close, of getting burned.

Abandoned.

_It’s okay. You don’t know his real name. This isn’t real. This is just a lucid dream. You can tell him things you haven’t told anyone. You can let him feel things you’ve never let anyone feel. Then put it all into a parenthesis._

_It’s okay._

But deep in her heart, she knew it was anything but.

*

Ben’s lips left Kira’s skin so he could look her into her eyes. He tightened his hold on her in what he hoped was reassuringly, feeling her flesh spill over between his fingers.

Her shoulders slightly hunched, her knees starting to turn inward, she was closing up on herself once again.

_Oh, Kira. You have no idea about the things I would do for you. To you. With you. If you’d just let me._

_I’d give you things you didn’t even know you wanted._

“No. I’d never let you fall,” Ben declared, unwavering. “Only over the edge,” he softly jived.

Kira’s lips twitched at the pun. There was a flicker in her eyes - maybe amusement, maybe a relief that he didn’t ponder too much on this sensitive topic.

Ben wasn’t a fool. Even only after a day, it was perfectly clear to him how much Kira hated to be vulnerable. That she would let her guards down for him was humbling.

Then she inhaled, somewhat jittery, her legs relaxing.

“You might want to lean back though,” Ben remarked suggestively, his words more or less muffled by her flesh as he returned his attention to her body.

*

Rey had no hesitation doing what he advised this time. She gripped the table more firmly though, because his tongue was travelling upwards. Her core was throbbing with sweet anticipation, her heart full with his attentiveness. How could he respond to her every need so flawlessly every time?

He would withhold when he needed him to. He would give her more when she craved it.

Peering down from above, she admired his dark locks, his knee on the floor. She felt like a living statute of a goddess.

A rat-eating, bloody-handed goddess.

With him, nothing mattered but right here, right now.

Eyes shut, hands around her knees, Kylo seemed to be in trance. He kissed her with reverence, with purpose, with so much _meaning_ like he was trying to convey a message for which words would have been too crude.

Kylo placed her feet on his thigh. The muscles flexed under her soles and Rey vaguely registered that maybe - maybe these parentheses could go around her own life.

Maybe her whole life has been a never-ending intermezzo and this was the symphony itself.

Kylo was the foundation on which her sculpture rested, and Rey had never been more sure that she would never fall.

_More_ , that is. Never would fall _more_ for anyone but him.

*

From this close, he could already smell her. Her arousal was in the air. Ben briefly wondered if she had already stained the fabric under her and the possibility made him smirk.

“Kylo…” he heard her whisper, “please…”

“Patience, my little dove,” he murmured against her skin, so, _so_ close to where she needed him the most.

She trembled and he held her tighter, more insistently.

_I've got you, baby._

He kissed her gently everywhere but her throbbing clit; even the smooth skin on the dome of her sex, the outer layer of the church which was her cunt. The gentle stubbles of her hair grazed him, but there was nothing he would have traded for this moment.

Slowly, he descended between her dewey folds, taking his time.

Ben was aware that he was literally worshipping her. His personal goddess, his personal beacon, the sun which burned so bright it left a permanent mark on his skin.

His hands found their ways on her kneecaps, covering them completely. His body swallowed her up whole; and he loved it. He loved knowing that she willingly let him take care of her, that it was his personal privilege to take some of the weight of her life off her shoulders. His shoulders were wide enough for the both of them.

He parted her even more, making the skin of her pussy stretch and he could see how her muscles contracted on air, how her hips bucked.

Then, for the first time, he let his tongue slide over her clit.

She gasped loudly, and as the table jiggled, he knew she threw her head back from the sudden onslaught of pleasure. Her skin was silky smooth and cool; his mouth, his tongue hot compared to it.

So, his girl liked a little temperature play.

Emboldened by this revelation, he blew a little over her clit and she cursed.

“Kylo…”

Her voice was nothing but a broken whisper. Satisfaction shot through him.

_Oh, now. Now I've got you._

He was a sloppy eater. Firmly, he pushed up the hood of her raw nerve endings, his tongue swirling around her center teasingly until her legs shook on his thighs and her knuckles turned white gripping the table top.

Her moans were so desperate, so ecstatic, so _carnal_ , that Ben knew he could never, ever get enough of this.

He wanted his goddess to remember his worship; to ruin her for anyone who might come after him. Princes, fellow agents - and to give her something she could bury herself in for the lonely nights, or for the unfortunate times when she would have to endure the unwelcome touch of someone strategic, but repulsive.

His tongue teased her opening, then darted in, curling up in a firm lick, making her clench, and only for a moment, he stopped to coat his middle and ring finger in the mixture of his saliva and her juices.

“Kylo, please… please let me come,” she pleaded, now breathless and lying on her back.

“You'll never want for anything as long as you're with me, my little dove,” he reassured her, kissing the flat of her stomach gently.

Kira gulped heavily, wetting her tongue, her lips, the cavity of her mouth. Hell. He could almost _feel_ how overworked their airways were.

With a satisfied smile, he laid his head between her hip bones. It didn't quite fit, she was so lithe and small, his head an oversized watermelon compared to her.

Gently, he eased his fingers inside and closed his eyes to better feel how she undulated underneath him, how her whole body jolted.

God, she was breathtaking. Fascinating. Beautiful.

For an insane moment, he pictured her with a bump of the size of his head, swollen with their child and the thought made him smile deliriously. Just then, Rey lifted a shaky hand to comb through his hair; as if hearing and approving of his secret.

Her fingers tightened on his scalp, winding his unruly hair between them, tugging lightly as she climbed closer and closer to her release.

Then, he ducked, going straight for her clit, sucking on it, pulling it between his teeth and flicked it with his tongue.

She exploded.

Her orgasm tore her back into an arch, her head hanging from the table, her legs dangling in the air - receiving his offering on this altar.

*

Stars danced behind Rey’s eyelids, the only anchor to this world his locks between her fingers.

She heard herself, her own voice so loud it drowned out the drumming of her heart.

When she was through, she gulped, wetting her lips while Kylo subtly wiped his on the inside of her thighs. His stubble scraped her sensitive skin there.

She huffed, amusedly, lovingly and he rose, kissing her cold skin with his hot lips.

“Come here,” she murmured and he obeyed, rising and slipping his tongue into her mouth sweetly. He tasted like her juices, like him, like a promise sealed.

Before she could realize what she was doing, her fingers found their way under his thick hair, tracing the shell of an ear that turned out to be huge.

_So that's why he can hear my every secret wish._

She grinned amusedly against his lips at her private joke, running her finger along the rim again and again.

“I know. They’re so huge it’s not even funny,” Kylo mumbled, uncomfortable.

She gripped his head, pushing him away so she could look into his eyes.

He tried to avert.

“Kylo,” she admonished and he winced, “they are so _endearing_ ,” she whispered fondly, gently unearthing one from beneath the bush of his black mane, “so magical,” she kissed it and she felt him shudder, along his whole body, like this simple act of kindness would have brought him to his knees. “I'm thinking,” she breathed into his shell, “that's how you can hear my thoughts so well.”

A snort bubbled out if him.

“Kira…” he rumbled warmly, slightly embarrassed.

“I'm…” _Rey_ . _Please call me Rey._

She silenced herself with his mouth, pressing her tongue against his while tracing the length of his straining erection with a light touch. She knew she was being a tease; his cock felt heavy and almost painfully hard. It didn’t stop her from caressing his manhood all over and she felt Kylo’s self control slipping. He grabbed her ass so hard it would bruise and thrusted into her fist with barely contained ferocity.

_Good_. Better let his control evaporate than hers; better let him be the one to make them fall irrevocably.

As long as she was anonymous behind her pseudonym, she could store this away as an interesting adventure. She may not let Rey feel loved; Rey was never, ever enough. Too crude, too complicated. Too bruised. Too much of a black hole for affection, a bottomless pit never to be filled.

Rey would always be left behind. (Even by herself.)

Kira on the other hand… Kira was everything a man could want. Uncomplicated, strong.

More importantly: Kira didn’t _need_ attachments. Let alone those of a stranger she didn’t know: the man behind Kylo’s mask. (But oh, Rey _wanted._ Wanted him to reveal himself, call her by her name and fill her with his attention.)

Instead, she tried to focus on what she _had._

Two avatars making love.

Parentheses.

_“_ I want you inside now,” she whispered into his ear wickedly, pumping him slightly.

*

Ben wasn’t sure where the line between dream and reality was drawn anymore. His whole head was a cloudy haze of lust, of _want -_ of love. He was sure it was love. Fondness.

He was crazy about this woman.

He scooped her up from the table, like a man with his newlywed bride, and spilled her onto the bed, falling onto all fours right above her.

Her legs hugged him into a welcoming embrace of her whole body - a home that he very much wanted to make his own. He found himself unable to stop fantasizing about siring her to himself.

When he pushed in, it was frantic, unprepared and sloppy - but he didn’t care. He wanted to consume her, eat her alive, merge with her into one body.

He heard her gasp, felt her nails claw at his shoulders, marking _him_ as hers, revenge for the slight pain he had caused her. A glance at her face was enough to confirm that bliss was there too, so he soldiered on with insistent little prods until she started to mewl.

The bed shook under his swinging weight, protesting against the impact. Kira, on the other hand did nothing of the sort - if anything, she opened herself up yet further. He laced his arm under her knee, pushing her leg until it squashed her right tit, borrowing into her deeper.

She threw her head to the side, hiding half of her face in the crook of her straightened arm which kept her head from smashing into the headboard, creating a resistance against his pulverizing thrusts. Her features were radiating pleasure, and she mouthed _more, harder._ He would give her this.

He would.

A particularly strong move made the whole bed crack loudly. They both froze, then laughed.

“I guess this bed won’t hold much longer like this,” Ben chuckled, kissing her sweaty throat then bit down for good measure.

She whimpered.

“Ride me.”

It wasn’t a _request_ \- it was a _command_.

Before he pulled out, he could feel her cunt squeezing on him, her breath hitching. She liked this, apparently. For all her bossiness, she liked to hand over the reins.

They switched places a beat after that.

She eased herself on him again hurriedly, sighing in satisfaction when the length of him disappeared into her again, stretching her cunt.

She rocked her hips, testing the angle. His thumb slid over her clit, drawing lazy circles over the bud.

Her head swam with heady power. Every time she went down he groaned, his gaze glued to the place where they joined and she feasted on his helplessly awed expression.

“You like this,” she breathed, “you like to be ridden, don't you?”

Just because she could, she swirled her hips, making him feel how deep he was inside her and she made her pussy flex around him.

He cursed.

“You like when I take charge, don’t you, my stallion?” Her hands wandered lower, to his balls, starting to tease them again.

Her pace increased.

“Fuck, yes,” he growled.

“Tell me,” she panted, now moving with him only a slightly less ferociously than he did, “tell me I’m the only one who gets to fuck you like this.”

“Only you,” he vowed, increasing the pace and pressure of his rubs.

She moaned loudly, her head falling forward as she balanced herself on his chest. Her face contorted and he knew she was close.

“Ky---”

“It’s Ben!” he blurted out. (Just once, just this once he wanted to hear his own name falling from her lips when she came.)

The change was immediate.

She pounced on him like a snow leopard he claimed she was.

With all her weight, she pushed him into the bedding, her strong grip dangerously close to cutting off his airways.

“You…” she thundered, “you _fool_!”

She knew that her hands wouldn't quite span the perimeter of his throat - the man was big as a horse after all - so she went for a strategic location; right where his windpipe dipped below his collar bones.

Small dots started to dance at the edge of his vision but he made no move to release himself. His airflow ebbed gradually as her fury increased.

_My goddess. Master of my life and death._

“You ruined _everything_!” she sneered. She tightened her grip, watching his start to get diffused.

“Why did you have to make this personal, hm? _Why_ ?” she shouted at him accusingly, droplets of saliva splattering on his face as her vision blurred with red-hot rage. “Why couldn’t you just keep your mouth _shut_ ? Why did you have to _take this_ from me?”

_This_ \- the sweet anonymity.

_Why did you have to give this to me? Something real I'll never have?_

She would now have _Ben_ , not _someone_ who had fucked her so well, who had made her love.

This, this was love. She knew it like she one knew how to recognize a fever. It _was_ like fever, making her weak and delirious, craving the softness, the safety.

Things she had never had. Things she could only imagine.

Things she would only experience in this livid fantasy.

Only, it was no longer a fantasy.

No longer a fleeting adventure.

But _love_ ; love for a real, living person, someone who gave a piece of himself to her, just to take one with him.

Take her carefully constructed walls and tear them down.

_I'll be defenseless when you'll be gone._

Her vision blurred as her tears started to spill.

Rey was here again. Kira was losing ground.

“You’ve blown your cover,” she spat, putting more weight on her hand, feeling his racing pulse under her fingers.

He didn't even bat an eye, although they both knew the procedure: swift, painless death.

“Do it,” he croaked. “I’d be dead without you anyway.”

_But how could I kill you now, now that I know you? Now that I have seen your face? Now that I have seen your heart? Your depths?_

She growled.

Her tears spilled now over, rolling down her cheeks. Her nose started to run. Her hand on his neck shook. Just a little more pressure and he would be out. He would be over.

**_Her_** _Ben_ would be over.

Yet, he made no move to stop her.

With a caged growl, she yanked her hand away, and he sharply inhaled, coming back to life at once.

He was coughing and she felt the movement _inside_ her. But his huge paws were already reaching for her to soothe her instead of revenge, pulling her down for a kiss - a wet, sludgy kiss which scorched her down to her heart.

“Rey,” she sobbed, her voice breaking. “I’m Rey.”

The admission made her light. She truly felt now like a dove, ready to fly away.

Ben kissed her hungrily, inhaling her breath, her hiccups, her tears.

He started rocking up into her again, building her pleasure once more.

The staccato of her breathing increased, becoming laboured and heavy with pleasure.

“Then come for me, _Rey,_ and say my name when you do. Christen me, now that you let me live,” he murmured.

No, _prayed_.

She nodded, small, frantic nods.

_Anything, for you I’d do anything._

He leaned back, giving her more space and she slid her fingers to her clit, bringing about her climax at his pleasure to watch. The familiar coil tightened in the base of her spine, licking itself further and higher while he extolled her name. He couldn’t get enough of it, now that he knew it, it seemed.

Ben didn’t even blink the whole time, too overwhelmed with everything. His hands held her hips, gently guiding her until she came, his cock buried deep into her and doubled over with a sweet cry over him.

“Ben!”

Not long after that, still feeling her cunt squeeze on him, he emptied into her. He held her close in a strong embrace, making her take it, take him, _get used to him_ , filling her up with everything she was missing.

He kissed the top of her head, letting her catch her breath on his chest. He traced his hand down her hair, her spine, feeling her breathing even out on top of him, around his softening cock.

_I can never get enough of this. Of you. Of us._

“Run away with me,” he whispered.

“What?“

“Run away with me,” Ben repeated. “You said it yourself: everybody thinks we're dead anyway.”

Rey was very, very still. But her mind was racing.

This plan… it made sense.

But… What would she have without the agency? What would she have _with_ the agency?

She was powerful, as Kira. But only a disposable tool. One of a dozen.

With _Ben…_ (this name felt so fitting, so natural to describe him, she noticed. Everything now fell in place, now that she knew him. Names really were fate.)

For Ben, she was the only one. Irreplaceable. Irreplicable. Irrevocable.

“Rey?” he called by her real name.

That spurred her to action. They were no big talkers; they had always communicated by doing things, rather than saying them.

She pulled off him, as quickly as it possible.

“Rey?” he repeated, slightly more alarmed, seeing that she scrambled on shaky legs, his cum leaking out of her, to her anorak, digging around frantically in her pockets.

“Rey? What’s going on? What’s the problem?”

His words carried a barely concealed undercurrent of panic, but Rey had no time, no mind to soothe him. Finally, her hands closed around the metal object she had been searching: her multi-purpose Swiss knife. Of course, it was agency issue, equipped with tools regulars didn't have. Like a laser for sealing wounds.

“Finally,” she muttered.

Ben watched her get lost in her own little world. Not that he objected to the sight: this beautiful, strong woman naked on display for him, the toll of his lovemaking evident in her disarrayed hair and his spend dripping down her legs.

She flicked out the blade of the knife.

His heart stopped and his body coiled to defend himself. His stare fixated on her hand which held the knife.

“Do you… do you trust me?” Rey asked shakily. When their eyes locked, Ben could only see uncertainty mixed with excitement. She was practically vibrating.

Carefully, he nodded. This might have been the first time he had lied to her, because after suffocating him almost to death while also riding him to oblivion, Ben felt that part of him couldn’t bring himself to fully relax.

“Lay on your stomach and stay very still,” she instructed him.

There was a beat of resistance.

“Please,” she breathed.

Ben took a good look at her. _Maybe the last one ever._ He had overstretched his luck anyway when he hurled himself down that cliff with the speeder only a few days ago. Maybe the supernatural powers had decided that it was time to rectify _that_.

He turned, tucking his half-hard cock uncomfortably underneath him. (Apparently, his cock wasn’t afraid of Rey. Of course it wasn’t. It had only seen the harmless insides of her, which gave it inexplicable pleasure.)

He felt her approach, straddle his hips. Then cold liquid was poured down his nape and its smell burned into his nose.

_Vodka._

“Stay still,” Rey intoned, then ran her hand along his nape.

He shivered. _Well, this is nice._ She massaged his neck - until she pressed deep and he felt something alien in his body for the first time.

“Got you,” Rey murmured to herself. “Don’t move,” she warned him again.

He took a deep breath when he felt the cold blade connect with his skin. The pain as Rey made the incision was excruciating without anesthetics. His teeth cracked under the pressure as he tried to contain his animalistic growl. His nails dug moon-shaped patterns into the flesh of his palms with the effort of keeping his body still.

“It’s almost out,” Rey cooed, “it’s almost out, baby.”

He whimpered when her finger slid inside, parting the flesh and using the tweezers to capture a little plastic object.

“There you are,” she muttered. With a quick turn of her knife, she started to cauterize the wound - his flesh burned and he howled in pain.

“Almost over, baby,” she soothed him. When the incision finally was sealed, she kissed the outside gently.

“What…. What the fuck was that?” Ben asked, trying not to suffocate on his own spit.

She could hear the tears on his voice.

“Tracking device,” Rey explained.

“Why didn’t I know about it?” Ben asked, halfway unconscious from the pain.

“Because it’s injected when you’re out. And it’s a well kept secret. But as it happens… living in an orphanage make you tougher than any training could. My surgery didn’t go well. I remembered every minute of it.”

“Do you… do you have it, too?” Ben choked, trying to get himself under control again.

“I do,” she answered, caressing his back reverently. “You’ll have to cut it out for me. It’s in the same spot.”

“I can’t make you hurt like that, Rey,” he protested. It was one thing that he felt as if she had skinned him. But he couldn’t do it to her.

“If the storm clears and it’s still inside me, they’ll know we are live,” she pressed. “It’s the only way we can get out.”

“Alright,” Ben gulped. “Give me some time to recover.”

She hummed, shimmying down the roundness of his ass so she could kiss him better. Pressing lingering kisses on his spine, on his back, she tried to sooth him.

A low rumble murmured in his chest.

“Are you... _purring_?” she asked incredulously.

“I thought I was a horse,” he interjected.

“Apparently one with multiple personality disorder,” she quipped.

“I think I’m ready to take out your tracking device now,” he groaned and felt it in his body as Rey shook with laughter.

“Well, I am ready to be yours,” she flirted.

Although it was meant as part of the never-ending banter between them, Ben turned his head around to look at her over his shoulder. She peered down at him, innocently, her cheeks aflame.

She let him turn underneath him, let him sit up and encircle her, blanketing her body once again with his own. Let him kiss her lazily, deeply, let him take the knife out of her hand. Let him knead the back of her neck, until he found the same small device planted into her body, not minding how he practically pushed her into his mouth, how he devoured every little sound she made.

Wordlessly, she also let him push her down on the bed, let him arrange her so he could straddle her body. Impossibly, she felt herself grow wet again - how was it even possible after all the sex they’d already had?

His hand expertly brushed her hair up and out of the way,and she felt her skin prickle in the wake of his touch.

“You really are insatiable,” he murmured and kissed her exposed spine.

“Only with you,” she whimpered.

Ben reached for the vodka, dripping it on her skin and then on the knife.

She squirmed underneath her.

“I'll let you up after this, if you want to. But now… _don't move_.”

Rey shivered as he echoed her own words, his voice barely more than a rumble. His enormous hand cupped the base of her skull, holding her in place.

The other hand kneaded her muscles until he could pinpoint the device.

“This is going to hurt, little dove,” was all the warning she got before the knife sliced into her skin and she squeaked.

“Don't move, Rey!” Ben ordered her, his grip tightening on her skull. She flexed all her muscles to obey.

He dug in with the tweezers, extracting the device.

“It's out, baby, it's out,” he cooed.

The burn of the flesh as he closed up the wound was almost a relief compared to the pain of the impromptu surgery.

“It's out, baby, we're free,” he whispered and kissed her wound.

“Oh God,” she whined. Her body trembled from the shock of pain.

Ben arranged her in his embrace, kissing her everywhere he could and when she caught her breath, she pressed her lips to his sculpted chest, to the strong arms that held her and inhaled the scent of Ben.

When their lips met again, it was a confession, dense with emotions, dense with _relief,_ with excitement about what the future would hold - this time for _them_ , and only them, instead of for higher political powers.

They could be invisible - truly invisible. _Insignificant._

All their world would be their little union.

She would maybe teach martial arts classes and Ben could hunt for living…

Or they would build a house and plant a garden in the middle of nowhere and make themselves fully self-sustained… have children… two, or maybe three…

Her mind was buzzing with the infinite possibilities. With the newfound challenge of making a life for herself, for the first time.

He slid into her tenderly, her body welcoming him again. He stared into her soul and she didn't even blink, caressing his face while the languid rocks of his hips built her climax.

“Rey, my sweet baby, come for me” he murmured.

“Call me your sweetheart,” she whispered, choking on some emotion she had no name for. “I _am_ your sweetheart, am I not?“

“You are. You are my sweetheart,” he rumbled, kissing her again, feeling her fingers thread through his tangled hair, messing it up even more, “ _sweetheart, come now._ Come with me.“

How fitting it was for his new life to start with hearing, watching, feeling his girl fall over the edge for him...

Rey arched her back; her hands, legs pulled him deeper, hearing his gasps as he, too, found his release.

They kissed and kissed, warmly, hungrily.

He murmured her new endearment, the one she never let anyone call her before him, the one which she let him repurpose, which she trusted him to fill it with new, wonderful meaning after being scorched earth for her whole life.

Ben knew that this was not something temporary; that this was more serious than a wedding vow; that Rey was more fragile than glass, and nothing stood between her and her final demise than his caring hand.

He would not let her fall. He would not let her shatter.

“Sweetheart,” he repeated and felt her smile into his kiss deliriously.

“Let's get cleaned up and get going. The storm has quieted down.”

Half an hour later, they emerged from the cabin, laying eyes on the landscape after the days-long snowstorm, holding hands.

The smooth white powder stretching evenly for miles and miles was their blank canvas - one they would start to draw on together. First when they would ski down to the abandoned research facility of Valentine, then as they would unearth a plane and fly away.

They kissed one last time, giddy with warmth in their hearts, before launching down the endless slopes.

“Hi, Ben,“ she breathed, her words a cloud in the air.

Her smile could have melted the whole country into a beach resort.

“Hi, Rey,” he smirked.

His eyes gleamed like a pure lake in the sunshine.

When they slipped on their goggles, Rey looked at him again. Even with the broken arm and torn clothes, he was devastatingly handsome.

Anything that came before him was meaningless. Her life had just begun and everything else was just in parentheses.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you deedreamer again for betaing and Trueffle123 for giving this an encouragement read. 
> 
> I have a very unexpected epilogue in mind, if anybody wants it, please let me know in the comments and I'll write it soonish. It's rather short. :) 
> 
> Thank you for everyone who has been reading this weird little story. I'd love to hear your thoughts!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you a thousand times deedreamer for being such amazing beta! She literally spent hours editing this monster of a chapter, and I cannot be thankful enough!! Go and check out her work!!!
> 
> As always, my gratitude extends to trueffle123 for bouncing scene ideas.


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